The Awards That Should've Been Given Out at the 2017 Grammys

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Mike Posner, who refused to engage in a direct interview on the red carpet. What sort of weak performance art was this? 

Ed Sheeran, performing "Shape of You." (Even though the looper pedals were cool.)

Bruno did great, but Blue Ivy takes this one with ease. Prince would've loved the purse. 

The Chainsmokers. David Bowie seemed to have a magnanimous spirit. But not us.

When Beyoncé tilted her chair back, at least one Grammy producer experienced heart palpitations. 

With his performance of "That's What I Like," Bruno tore that stage (and our hearts) up. 

The leather track suit, custom by Tommy Hilfiger, wins Mars two awards for one performance, in case you didn't think that he was a star.

Neil Portnow, President of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences, who you know from Kanye's tweets about the problems with the Grammys. Portnow called for music education in his speech. Maybe someone needs to educate him and the Recording Academy voters about what matters.

Busta Rhymes picked up a new mantle last night, calling Donald Trump "President Agent Orange."

Gnarly Davidson, ladies and gentlemen. 

(But really, we still don't understand.)

Beyoncé kept things classy in the face of an unfair decision—as always. 

Step one: acknowledge the mistake.

Step two: break the award in half.