Kid Cudi Opens Up About His Struggles With Drugs and Depression on OTHERtone

Kid Cudi details his battle with depression and drugs in an upcoming OTHERtone episode.

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Complex Original

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On Sunday (July 10), Kid Cudi will be a special guest on Pharrell and Scott Vener’s OTHERtone. In a series of previews, Cudi speaks candidly about his struggles with drugs and depression over the years, as well as other topics such as Jay Z, his first gigs, and much more.

Earlier this year, Cudder admitted he had suicidal thoughts, stating on Twitter that he thinks “about blowing my brains out a handful a times a week, I fear no one. I give no fucks. I’m a warrior in hell.” It’s become a topic of massive reddit threads and a subject in his music. Overall, the emotion probably influenced his experiments into alternative rock, paying homage to another iconic musician who took his life away, Kurt Cobain. (Cudi once visited Seattle's Viretta Park before out of respect.)

During his conversation on OTHERtone, Cudi talked about the pressures of joining Kanye West’s G.O.O.D. Music and consistently delivering great music.

“I’ll tell you the truth, it’s what drove me to drugs," he said. “I was like, man, I’m either going to kill myself or I’m going to do some drugs. And I want to live, so…” he continued. “I didn’t like that I had money and success and I had made it and everybody that I had ever met in my life—good people—weren’t able to experience the same. And I wasn’t able to truly enjoy my success. Even though I worked hard for it, it bothered me that I had so much and my friends didn’t. It was hard for me to enjoy it. Truthfully, it didn’t seem fair.”

Vener then asked if there was someone he could ask for advice, and Cudi said he didn’t want to worry Plain Pat and Emile Haynie—two important musical partners behind the Man on the Moon series. He later discussed how he secretly hid his addiction from his loved ones, but built a guilt in consuming Newports and cocaine on a regular basis.

“I could of spoke to someone, but all I’m really doing is disturbing their peace. There’s a blessing going on. Let’s focus on the blessing—whatever we gotta do to keep that going. And that’s what it was. And then it was rock n’ roll and I liked it. That was the second part. I became invincible.”

You can watch more preview clips below, and tune into Beats 1 on Sunday for the entire episode.

RELATED: How Kid Cudi Lost and Found Himself in 2016

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