You would never have guessed it, what with lines like, “Short nigga but my dick tall/What I told your bitch, dog/Only thug nigga down at the Pitchfork/Dirty van bitches wanna suck my dick off,” but A$AP Ferg was, until recently, in a serious relationship. How serious? He and his ex met in junior high school when Ferg was just known as Darold Ferguson Jr. They began dating a year later and stayed together for seven years. Yes, the Trap Lord has ruled with a queen by his side for the better part of his career. Who better, then, to give advice to young’ns looking to enter the rap game and keep wifey happy?
Acknowledge when you’re being selfish
“In this game, there’s a short window to show everybody what you got and to accomplish the things you want, and you gotta take yourself seriously. Sometimes that means you not gonna come home for a whole month, or two or three. You’re trying to reach [your goals and be] that person you want to be in your mind, and the other person don’t have anything to do with it. They suffer from all of the moving around and everything. It’s about having somebody who understands.”
Recognize her needs and don’t neglect your home life
“It gets to the point where even understanding is not enough; you’re never there. And then, on the harder side, you start to think, ‘Man, I’m never home. Maybe she could find somebody else—the super or some random guy that’s on the street, the guy she’s been buying her breakfast from, or the guy she’s working with.’ Things happen. People are human beings and everybody has needs. So, you start thinking about those things. She lives a life, too, and things could happen on her [end] as well.”
Incorporate her into your work life
“Include her in things if you can. Bring her to a show. Let her take a position within your thing, if y’all can get down like that. Some people can’t work together and be in love. That don’t work for me. I don’t like mixing the two. That’s your little sacred zone right there. When you come home to your girl, you get to unwind and be yourself and not be a celebrity. But try to include them as much as possible, just to make them feel like they have a [purpose]. What will happen is you’ll start to get so big, there’s so many people who do things for you and with you, that they’ll feel complacent. Like, you have a professional chef, and she’ll be like, ‘I wanna cook sometimes.’ Shit like that.”
Keep it 100 about other women
“I got songs on my new album that talk about all my life situations, and I actually got a song on there that’s like a sorry letter. [Ferg starts rapping.] ‘I wrote a letter to a girl who got my back, who’s affected by the real shit and real raps/What’s the name of the song? The Jay Z track/I was just fucking them girls I was gonna get right back/I’m still trying to figure out my place in this world/I ain’t mean to hurt the heart of my beautiful girl/See, I talk about the real so my niggas will learn/I try to give them motivation so my niggas will earn/So, I talk about how I shine and fuck all dimes, ballin’ in the Maybach, seats recline/I know it sound kinda harsh when I speak my mind and you be cryin’ in the dark and wanna leave sometime/But then I say I don’t ever want to let you go, ’cause when the smoke clears you’re still going to be here/’Cause the pain and the tears, all these years.’
Be real in your relationship. Let them know your struggles and what you’re going through. I had girls coming up. Now it’s just girls throwing themselves at me, so it’s a different type of struggle. At the end of the day, you a man. I would rather be a hunnid with my girl and give her the option—‘You wanna fuck with me or not? We could figure it out. I’m going through these struggles’—rather than get caught up looking crazy like these other dudes out here.”
Remember to live in the moment
“You can’t forget what makes you feel good. You’re a walking business, you start to do everything that’s accessible to you. Say we had a show—I just did the Barclays or whatever—and we’re going to sit down and eat. I’m on 10. We just did the Barclays, I just shut the Garden down, like, how can you bring your high down? You’re still high, your mind is still there while you’re at dinner with your girl. You want to pay attention to what’s happening at the dinner table, but like, you living your dreams. You’re still on this high. That balance becomes difficult as well.”