August is a perfectly fine and totally adequate month, ideal for pondering the disappointments and/or accomplishments of your summer and the impending marathon of holidays that await you as you near the final months of the year. But, really, fuck all of that this year — it's 2015, the purported year of a new Frank Ocean album and its resulting existential exploration. The instant classic dropped back in July, as
expected promised (?), and Twitter has remained afire with scholarly dissections of each track's respective slot in the expanding Ocean canon. Album of the Year seems like a foregone conclusion at this point, as Ocean Season is so very much upon us.
Sadly, those last two sentences are meandering fabrications. As you know, it's no longer July and we are still short a new Frank Ocean album. Back in April, Frank Ocean crashed everything by announcing his profoundly anticipated Channel Orange follow-up via his Tumblr with assistance from the fire-stoking hashtags #JULY2015 and #BOYSDONTCRY. Hours later, Ocean's team confirmed to Billboard that the new album was indeed coming in July alongside an Ocean-penned publication entitled Boys Don't Cry.
Does Frank Ocean merely exist on a different clock than the rest of us? Is "July" a subjective word? At any rate, Twitter demonstrated absolutely no chill at the absence of Frank's new album — providing a weekend-improving scroll-a-thon of briefly expressed frustrations, conspiracy theories, and general blasphemy:
Also, it appears Frank's own family is actively trolling the masses with obvious glee:
Don't do us like this, Frank.