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Zayn Malik dyed his hair green and then ceremoniously debuted it across a wide variety of fan-run Instagram accounts, prompting hardened journalists to ask the questions they get paid the small-to-medium-sized bucks to ask — including but not limited to:
"Wow, did Zayn Malik dye his hair green?"
"Should I dye my hair green?"
"Wait, how do I embed an Instagram post?"
Sadly, none of these seasoned veterans asked the most important question of all — is Zayn Malik, formerly of indie pop band One Direction, about to drop the most punk rock album of all time? Before you google what Henry Rollins thinks of this, allow us to peruse the evidence — much of it conveniently located on Malik's Twitter.
Here, Malik brilliantly undermines his own public image — specifically in relation to his Directional past — by framing it in Shia LaBeoufian terms of hyper-meta deconstruction. Remember when Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong brilliantly reminded you he wasn't "Justin Fucking Bieber" at the iHeartRadio festival in 2012? This is the Malik version of that.
This, of course, is a nod to the Pete Wentz method of subverting pop culture at large behind the confines of a well-tailored suit. The process is simple: make a slightly hideous, child-like facial expression (preferably with tongue exposed) whenever the normalcy of everything around you starts to take its toll. Thank you, Wentzt God.
Elsewhere, it's crucial to take note of Malik's assumed friendship with the dangerously punk rock lads in 5 Seconds of Summer — the scathingly political quartet you probably took your sister to see last year and failed to admit to any of your friends you actually (full disclosure) kind of liked.
Up the punx, Zayn. The world is ready.