What Happens When Battle Rapping Goes Wrong

Image via Complex Original

Matchup: Couture vs. Ms. Pak

You would think that female battle rappers would be slightly tamer than their male counterparts. But they can be just as disrespectful. Take this battle between Couture and Ms. Pak for instance: Couture’s merciless premeditated personals—including pulling out a box of Monistat and a Facebook picture of Ms. Pak’s dirty mattress—were enough to make the latter flee the scene bawling with embarrassment.

Matchup: DNA vs. Chess

This battle gave a new definition to the phrase “spit that heat.” Smack/URL’s “Rookies vs. Vets” event was the first time many of the young bulls had been on the main stage. And it really showed in one particular instance. In the middle of his battle against DNA, Chess had a Willie Beamen moment, spilling his guts, literally, all over the stage.

Matchup: Daylyt vs. Real Deal

It’s not uncommon for battlers to take exception when the crowd isn’t feeling what they are kicking. And then there’s Daylyt. Last year, during a battle with Real Deal, the gimmicky MC was more than bothered when the crowd started to boo his Headless Horseman antics, and he threatened to take action. “If I hear two more boos, Ima boo boo on the stage,” he said, after which he promptly dropped his pants and attempted unsuccessfully to drop a deuce while the crowd looked on in dismay.

Matchup: Professor Green vs. Chalk

Stage presence should be a part of any battler’s repertoire. But hey, shit happens sometimes. In this matchup that went down in 2004 between Professor Green and Chalk, PG maneuver’s around the stage to pull off what he thinks is going to be an epic personal. But one misstep leaves him taking a tumble off the platform mid-rhyme. He tries to shake it off, but the damage is already done.

Matchup: Various Artists

Another one of the keys to being a good battle rapper is having the capacity to remember and regurgitate dozens of bars without skipping a beat. The good ones can block out the crowd and opponent, seizing the moment and breezing through their rounds with machine-like precision. However, those rhymers who are less inclined often find themselves drowning embarrassingly when they jump off in that water.

Matchup: Cockamamie Jamie vs. Philthy Fresh

We’re not sure exactly what happened in this battle. One thing is apparent: The dude who’s rapping (Cockamamie Jamie) literally pisses his pants. Was he scared? Does he just have an extremely weak bladder? Or dipping into even deeper realm of struggles, did he do it on purpose? Either way, this is just wrong.

Matchup: Pedro vs. EMC

When Pedro battled EMC last year in the KOTR league, things seemed to be going well until they weren’t. The brews and the bars were flowing until one line struck a nerve and Pedro ripped the shirt off EMC’s chest on some Deebo shit. Making things even more awkward, the rappers just stared intently at each other after the bully move. But best believe, EMC probably cried in the car.

Matchup: Daylyt vs. Cityy Towers

Daylyt’s 2014 battle with Cityy Towers seems to involve a number of chokes. First, Lyt appears to forget his lines. Then, in a stalling tactic, he interacts with a battle rapper in the audience who isn’t very receptive to his advances. A scuffle ensues, with both men literally going at each other’s throats, choking each other until people are able to break up the melee.

Matchup: Geno vs. Grizzly Jones

It’s impossible to win a battle if you aren’t conscious. Duh. Someone must have failed to mention this detail to battle rapper Geno, who took an untimely nap during his battle with Grizzly Jones last year. One thing is for sure: He wasn’t ready!

Matchup: ENJ vs. Nyckz

This might be the event that started the trend of battle rappers getting punched in the face for talking greasy. The close-quarters battle between ENJ and Nyckz in January 2006 was intense. Things got serious when Nyckz touched ENJ’s arm, but reached a boiling point when he spit the line that is forever cemented in battle rap lore. “Oh, you mad ‘cause I’m styling on you?” The rest, as they say, is history.