10 Co-Headlining Tours That Need To Happen

None

Tour Name: The “Ross & Rachel” 2015 Tour

Possible Collaborations: “Take Care,” “What’s My Name?”

Leo is getting too chubby for Rihanna, and we’re still rooting for the most enduring “will they/won’t they?” romance of this generation. If the Kanye tour turns out to be a rumour, this would be a fine consolation prize. And if every show could end with a mock wedding (after the tour opener’s real wedding, of course), that would be ideal.

Tour Name: The “Replace Katy Perry With Timbo” Tour

Possible Collaborations: Literally every single song.

Did you see the Super Bowl half-time show? Basically that, for two and a half hours, and replace Katy Perry with Timbaland. Take my money, please.

Tour Name: “Rage The Jewels”

Possible Collaborations: “Close Your Eyes (And Count To Fuck)”

Rage Against The Machine vocalist Zack De La Rocha teamed up with Killer Mike and EL-P on one of the most explosive hooks and verses of 2014, and ideologically, there’s no better pairing for a politically-charged collaborative tour. Just imagine guitar warlock Tom Morello conjuring all of EL-P’s squirly synth lines and sample flips on a Telecaster, and you’ll be convinced too.

Tour Name: The “Middle America Packed In” Tour

Possible Collaborations: "Stronger," "On Sight," "Black Skinhead," "I Am A God," "Send It Up"

During an eighteen minute finale medley of “Harder, Better, Faster” into “Stronger,” the robots remove their helmets to reveal that it’s Kim and North instead of Guy-Man and Thomas. That’s right, 30,000 people just got DOOM’d by the Wests. Deal with it, losers.

Tour Name: “Bieber Comes To Life”

Possible Collaborations: Fucked Up act as Justin Bieber’s backing band, with Damian Abraham chasing Bieber around the stadium repeatedly body slamming him.

A collaborative tour with Toronto’s premiere DIY art-punk ensemble might be just the image makeover Justin Bieber needs. It’ll be interesting to see what Fucked Up’s three guitar arsenal does with “One Less Lonely Girl.”

Tour Name: “Watch The Throne 2”

Possible Collaborations: “Flawless (Remix),” “Feeling Myself”

Just as Kanye and Jay asserted their dominance with Watch The Throne, it’s time for the co-Queens to claim the crown jewels and reign. With “I Been On” and “7/11” under her belt, it’s officially time to stop pretending that Hov is the best rapper in the family.

Tour Name: The “I Get By With A Little Help From My Migos” Tour

Possible Collaborations: Ringo Starr struggles to figure out the Migos flow while drumming along to “Versace.”

Are Migos indeed, better than the Beatles? It’s time to settle the storied debate once and for all, with a 72-date worldwide co-headlining Battle Royale of a tour. If Ringo snatches Quavo’s chain, someone might have to catch a body.

Tour Name: The “Uptown Boyz” Tour

Possible Collaborations: “Uptown”

We really like the song “Uptown,’ if that wasn’t already evident. Ferg and La Flame are both rising stars, and while they’ve performed together before on occasion, a massive co-headlining tour could be next-level for their careers. Travi$ might get the short end of this pairing, because he doesn’t even have a hit yet, let alone one that could stand toe-to-toe with “Shabba.” Hopefully that will change with the release of Rodeo this year.

Tour Name: “Young vs. Young”

Possible Collaborations: Young Thug hitting the chorus from “Danny Glover” over top of “Rockin’ In The Free World.”

Thugger and Neil Young have the exact same vocal range, so they’d sound good dueting on just about anything. If we’re lucky, Neil might invite the members of Brazy Horse to join them on stage. Things are gonna get weird when Young Thug calls Neil his "hubbie."

Tour Name: The “If I Had A Million Trophies” Tour

Possible Collaborations: Four straight hours of adorkable stage banter

In this Toronto connection, Drake replaces disgraced Barenaked Lady Stephen Page as lead vocalist, and absolutely slays the high notes in their cover of “Lovers In A Dangerous Time.”