Does Not Compute: What Happens When Rappers Rap About Technology

Some rappers are great at using technology to further their careers while others struggle to understand the basics.

Not Available Lead
Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

Not Available Lead

If you've been a rap fan for a long time you will know that a rapper not being well informed on a certain topic will never prevent them from speaking on it. Case in point: Drug dealing Technology. Whether it's Eminem's difficulties in listening to music on the Internet, Rick Ross' unique use of Expedia or 2 Chainz not quite understanding how Netflix works, rappers, for all their social media and digital savvy, sometimes have a hard time rapping about technology. Here's What Happens When Rappers Rap About Technology.

brokencool is a writer living in Toronto. You can follow him on Twitter at @brokencool.

Spider Loc Should Stay Off the Internets

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Spider Loc

Song: 50 Cent f/ Lloyd Banks, Mase, Prodigy, and Spider Loc “I Don't Know Officer” (2005)

Lyric: “We on the Internet tryna get our email on.”

There are a couple of problems here: 1) How are you “tryna” get your “email on”? It's email—it isn't that complicated. Write the email and click send. 2) Are we to assume Spider Loc is just surfing aimlessly on the Internet looking for email? This is why he is having so much trouble with it. G-G-G-G-Mail!

2 Chainz Doesn't Understand Netflix

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: 2 Chainz

Song: 2 Chainz f/ Fergie “Netflix” (2013)

Lyric: “2 Chainz, got 'em staring at my necklace/Let's make a sex tape and put it on Netflix.”

Unless 2 Chainz has a different Netflix subscription than us, we're pretty sure you can't record a sex tape and upload it to Netflix. In fact, you can't upload anything to Netflix...so there's that. 

Casual, the Google Analytics Gangster

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Casual

Song: Casual "Fiend for Hip-Hop” (2011)

Lyric: “All you Internet thugs is pitiful/Dude, you should do the Google analyticals.”

Quick: Think of one thing that wouldn't make you sound tough in a rap song. Did you pick referencing Google Analytics? Congrats, your answer is correct! Not only does Casual's Google Analytics reference seem out of place, but it leaves us wondering, how do you do your Google Analyticals?

Expedia Is Not the Same Thing As Google

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Rick Ross

Song: “Comfortable (Freestyle)” (2009)

Lyric: “I'm the biggest rapper, Google me Expedia.”

We will give Rick Ross the Google part of the lyric, but Expedia? Does Rick Ross know Expedia is a travel site? Also, you can't Google, Expedia someone. Like, that isn't a thing.

Kindles Just Started Glowing

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Talib Kweli

Song: Talib Kweli and Hi-Tek f/ Jay Electronica, J. Cole, and Mos Def “Just Begun” (2010)

Lyric: “From the intro you know I'm so influential 'cause I'm glowing like a Kindle.”

Can Talib Kweli see into the future? We doubt it. So why would he claim to be glowing like a Kindle two years before Amazon dropped the Paperwhite, the first of the company's e-readers that could actually, you know, glow?

Clear for Takeoff?

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Kanye West

Song: Jay Z f/ Kanye West “Hate” (2009)

Lyric: “We blasting off just like a laser.”

Rockets and lasers could be easily confused because they both…wait a minute, no, they can't. Somehow, Mr. West confuses the blasting off of a rocket with the shooting of a laser.

You Can't Crash the Whole Internet Hov…and You Don't Provide Our Internet Service

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Jay Z

Song: “Somewhereinamerica” (2013)

Lyric: “Might crash ya Internet/And I ain't even into that.”

Yes, we know what Hov is trying to say—he's so worldwide and powerful that the mere hint of Jay Z news or music is enough to crash the Internet. Here's the thing: Jay Z can't crash the Internet. Pretty sure he can't even crash Twitter. Also, why is Jay rapping like he's our Internet provider?

These Aren't Replacements for Email

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Busta Rhymes

Song: Busta Ryhmes f/ Eminem “Calm Down” (2014)

Lyric: “See how they Twitter, Facebook, and Instagramming a email.”

Old head alert: Bus-a-Bus seems to think that social media posts—Tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagram posts—are somehow the replacement for email. Except, you know, people still send email…. Chalk this one up to the same thing as when your mom asks you what emojis are.

An Expert? Um, No.

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Eminem

Song: Eminem “So Far…” (2013)

Lyric: “Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda, be an expert at computers?”

Ahh Eminem, rap's greatest Luddite. Sorry Em, last time we checked, streaming a song didn't involve being an expert at computers. It's not like replacing a hard drive or deleting your old Myspace account. Trust us, anyone can do it.  

Do Your Google...Earths?

Not Available Interstitial

Artist: Nas

Song: Jay Z f/ Nas “Success” (2007)

Lyric: “Google Earth Nas, I got flats on other continents.”

Taking Nasty at his word, we fired up Google Earth and searched for "Nas." Top results included the National Academy of the Sciences, the National Association-Scholars, and the Naval Air Station Pensacola. No mention of flats owned by Mr. Jones. Sorry, Esco.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

 

Latest in Music