ComplexCon returns to Long Beach Nov. 6 - 7 with hosts J. Balvin and Kristen Noel Crawley, performances by A$AP Rocky and Turnstile, and more shopping and drops.

Secure your spot while tickets last!

First, my condolences to Amber Rose, shockingly divorced from Wiz Khalifa. Amber's a lovely girl. Literally millions of upstanding gentlemen and women are drafting ill-advised DMs to a booty-clap damsel as we speak.

Let your breakup song be a reprise.

I have a theory. Wiz cheated, but that's not why Amber Rose is moved out and moving on. No, Amber Rose jetted because her husband invited viral nuisance Soulja Boy to live in their crib for a gruesomely indefinite period, a cohabitation arrangement that no woman could bear—just think of the laundry. That house smells like a middle school in a nominally drug-free zone. The evidence is there. It's obvious. Just look at the Vines.

These two unstoppable, abundantly tatted bamas are clearly cohabitants of the same living room, with its dusty maroon wall and imperviousness to conventional household cleaning products. Wiz Khalifa and Soulja Boy are possibly the same person, a la a Jekyll-Hyde sort of scenario; Dr. Jekyll with the braids, Mr. Hyde with the fade. 

Also, why does their living room have kitchen cabinets? This ain't Bushwick! Mona Scott-Young gotta hook her talent up with a savvier broker.