When someone informs you that their parent has fallen gravely ill and subsequently dies, that’s everyone’s cue to momentarily shut the hell up about whatever grievance they have. Mimi’s homegirls got the memo on last week’s edition of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, though Stevie J decided to opt out of exhibiting basic human decency. It’s like you know he got the message because he opted to turn on iMessage’s read receipt, but he decided to get defensive and be inconsiderate all the same.
Following a radio interview in which Mimi apparently took shots at Stevie J for allegedly not paying child support, Stevie J called Mimi to threaten her (and then called her a “ho” before hanging up in her face) and went on to shoot her a text that said “Karma is a bitch” on the day her father died. Some of us can recall the text in question given Mimi uploaded a screenshot of it to Instagram. I’m not sure if Stevie J is upset with Kirk Frost for taking his “Worst Man On Basic Cable Ever” title away from him, but if he’s trying to get that crown back, this is the way to go about it.
After Mimi told her what all went down, Ariane reached out to Stevie J in order to find out “why you acting such an ass, Stevie?” Stevie acknowledges that he shouldn’t have been such an evil asshole towards her, but hates that Mimi acts as if she did the sex tape to support their daughter. While I agree with Stevie that Mimi is trying to come up with excuses on why she made that porn with the Stevie J knockoff, there needed to be a trap door on set for him to fall through the minute he played dumb as to why Mimi has been behaving the way she has. You can’t fuck somebody up in the head and then be like “Why you got a headache, girl?” Ariane may overstepped her boundaries by telling Stevie J that she suspects Mimi did that porn in order to get back at him, but it sounds pretty damn accurate all the same.
I’m not sure if Stevie J is upset with Kirk Frost for taking his 'Worst Man On Basic Cable Ever' title away from him, but if he’s trying to get that crown back, this is the way to go about it.
They’re equally right about their assessment of Nikko, but Mimi nonetheless feels that when it comes to people who truly hold her down, all she has is her XXX co-star and her daughter. Pray for that misguided woman, America.
Although Stevie J has yet to make amends with Mimi, he’s done a good job of calming Joseline down after making her feel like the post-arrest Farrah Franklin to Mimi’s Beyoncé. How did “The Good Guy” who is more like a soulful sociopath please his (probably pretend) bride? Setting up a music video shoot for her, naturally.
Here’s my thing about Joseline, the recording artist. I don’t fault the woman for wanting to do music influenced by her Puerto Rican culture, but do they realize that most of us watching them every Monday on VH1 only understand Spanish in the context of “more guac, please?” I mean, yes, expand your market, Puerto Rican Princess, but as far as actually launching your music career goes, you need to be thinking Trina, not trap Gloria Estefan in the interim.
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In other misguided musician news, God bless Karlie Redd for lip-syncing in her faux studio session with Yung Joc. Reality stars always swear to have a “hit” on their hands only for the song to leak and everyone gives the track a Nelson Muntz “ha-ha” as it sinks down the iTunes charts. But to be fair, let the record show that I was a fan of Karlie’s “Louis, Prada, Gucci” track from a few years ago. Karlie can’t sing-sing, but as long as the beat makes me bop, I’m willing to give songbirds with cancer on their vocal chords a chance.
Karlie’s got bigger problems, though—i.e. the woman she keeps referring to as “Miss Piggy.” Y’all remember her. She’s Yung Joc’s realtor, driver, secretary, and sexual chew toy depending on the day and alcohol level. Joc told Karlie that he was no longer cheating only to show up at a “fashion show” with her despite saying he was out of town “handling business.”
Once again the Flocka family proved itself to be the most stable group on the show.
Poor Karlie. She’s already this show’s answer to Pearl from 227. Now she’s 0-2 with men on the show. At least she got a free dress from Erica Dixon’s new line. I don’t usually like people wearing colors that resemble bumblebees, but it worked for you, Karlie!
Speaking of things that work well, Kaleena’s husband’s sperm has no problems making babies as evidenced by Kaleena revealing her pregnancy makes baby number nine for hubby. If I could ovulate, I wouldn’t even consider standing next to a man with eight kids already, but I’m not Kaleena so if she chooses to give her husband baby number nine, Mazel Tov and shit to them. Of course, she’s going to have to get out of that moldy ass house they were living in—but thankfully, after visiting her doctor, she found out that her baby is perfectly healthy.
And finally, once again the Flocka family proved itself to be the most stable group on the show. Yeah, marinate on that again for a minute. Done? Okay, Deb expressed her hurt over Waka and Tammy eloping—explaining to Waka that “It’s like I lost another son.” But as Waka noted both to her and in his confessional, “I’m a mommy boy, man. I never, ever go no where.” Time has healed that wound so Deb is welcoming her new daughter-in-law with open arms, but does have one request for both: give me some grandchildren. Two as a matter of fact because she feels like due to their lil’ courthouse nuptial stunt, she deserves some twins.
Give that woman what she wants, Mr. and Mrs. Flame. She could’ve pistol whipped y’all and/or broken you two in half with her bare hands yet she didn’t. That’s love.
Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.
