For a show themed around reality, it felt odd for Lil’ Scappy, Momma Dee, and Erica P to Nae Nae all around what exactly went down at the restaurant. In a confessional, Momma Dee said, “This is a very serious matter. As a mother, I’d like to think that I raised Scrappy to be a respectful and honest man to all women. I feel like I failed him. I gotta straighten this [out].” But “this” was never explicitly detailed, though we can deduce that Scrappy put his paws on his friend as evidenced by Momma Dee revealing that Scrappy is increasingly frustrated by his career not being where he wants it to be and Scrappy himself noting he has to learn how to properly deal with his anger.
Now that she mentions it, it has been a long time since Scrappy had a hit, huh? Join me in pouring out a lil’ coconut Myx moscato in memoriam of Scrappy, the good years. Let’s also bop to “Some Cut.”
That aside, last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was the first time Momma Dee had every right to butt into her son’s affairs—thus let us clap for a pimp with her pimpin’ ass. After Momma Dee expressed her disappointment and let him know that she invited Erica P. over to talk things out, Scrappy offered a sincere apology to her. One hopes that he does indeed learn to keep his paws to himself, given should he lose his cool again, reality TV producers might not be able to prevent them laws from locking him up.
In the other apologetic portion of the program, Kirk had his “I’m Sorry” party for his all too forgiving wife, Rasheeda. All I have to say about that lil’ bash in their yard is Bobby V. was singing in the key of begging Keith Sweat as the party attendees feasted on what looked like brisket and ribs. Their Black is fucking gorgeous, y’all.
Unfortunately, someone always has to soil the moment. Not surprisingly, it was Benzino’s bae Althea. Everything about Althea screams “I’m really trying to make fetch happen when it comes to fame.” After catching a flat tire on Music Dreams Highway, Althea has since caught a bus on Reality TV Road and is milking this shit for all its worth.
To wit, Althea approached my favorite, Erica, Ms. Dixon, and Karlie Redd, to apologize for throwing drinks at them. Well, more so Erica; Althea doesn’t give a good damn about Karlie Redd. The problem with Althea’s methodology is, you don’t tell someone you’re sorry while sporting a smirk on your face and continuing to act defensively when called on the very antics you claim to be apologizing for. Needless to say, Althea ended her scene by Benzino escorting her off the Frost property and him informing her that she needn’t allow “those women to get her to go from one to 10” so hastily.
But, but, but, Benzino: How else will your girl get that extra camera time she clearly covets?
Although all this other drama was going on, the biggest story last night was the release of Mimi Faust’s porno that I refuse to call a sex tape. The episode kicked off with Mimi and her daughter—making me instantly feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t feature my child on a show like this—especially if it’s in the context of my porn being released. Mimi claimed that while it may not be the best way to make a dollar, she’s making the most of her situation and providing for her daughter. Okay, but don’t you have a cleaning business and now a reality show check?
Thankfully, her co-stars also called bullshit. After watching the porn with Mimi’s friend, Ariane, Erica Dixon said, “I am disgusted. It ain’t even for Mimi ‘cause you a grown ass woman. You had a choice. It’s for Eva ‘cause she ain’t have one.” Erica also didn’t buy that nonsense about them making a homemade sex tape that just so happened to be stolen. “This ain’t no homemade shit,” Erica quipped to Ariane. No the hell it isn’t.
Even during a sit down interview with DJ Vlad, Mimi and Nikko were presented with evidence of a moving camera shooting their scenes. What was their response? A blank stare from Mimi and Nikko declaring that they “shook the bathroom.” Negro with an igga, please.
If Mimi Faust wants to be the Black Jenna Jameson and Negro Blanche Devereaux, that’s on her. Not everyone will like–waves hands–but it is ultimately her choice. But again, OWN YOUR SHIT, MIMI. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT WASN’T A HOMEMADE SEX TAPE. STOP LYING. YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT IT.
Yes, I needed to get close to my caps lock button. She earned.
While Erica and Ariane were feeling bad about Mimi’s lifestyle choices and the ramifications it poses for those around her, Joseline and K. Michelle were laughing at the new queen of hood porn. I didn’t necessarily believe the Joseline and K. Michelle lovefest initially, but after K. Michelle revealed that Joseline was “like the only one” from the cast who reached out to congratulate her on all her success, it made more sense.
As for their viewing party in the studio, my favorite lines:
“Her new name is meat mouth.” – K. Michelle
“And they kissed after that.” – Joseline
Oh, oh, oh, and this gem from Joseline: “You sold your soul to the devil, but that’s all I’mma say about that. I’mma let God deal with that hoe.”
Someone take me to whatever church Joseline goes to. This is my kind of religion. Until next time, y’all, when Mimi will once again be lying about making pornographic films with Forever 21 Stevie J.
Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.
