Album: Bobby Valentino
On a breeze from a fairy-tale kingdom, Bobby Valentino blew into our lives in 2005, with his single "Slow Down." The beautiful sound of a plucked harp sets the scene perfectly, filling the listener's mind with images of cartoon elves and hand-painted rolling green hills and, or course, butts.
The Disney intro is just Bobby V.'s way of creating a safe space to admire a pretty round posterior walking down Melrose. He's blown away, and implores this fair maiden to slow down so that me might catch up with her and compliment her in just the right way in order to dive inside her like Flounder in The Little Mermaid.
In his arsenal of compliments? Kind words about the "butterfly tattoo right above [her] navel." On top of that—and you can hear Bobby V. bite his fist in lucky disbelief—her "belly button's pierced too." This is truly Bobby Valentino's lucky day.
But the day won't be over until "seven digits" are in his hand. Not five. Not six. Seven. Just like the number of dwarves Snow White shacks up with. Coincidence? Nah. Perfection? Oh yes. —Ross Scarano