14 Types of Rap Fans You Meet On The Internet

What kind of Internet rap nerd are you?

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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There's a great scene in season four of Mad Men when Dr. Faye Miller tells a recently divorced Don Draper off. After resisting his sexual advances, she tells him, “You'll be married again in a year.” Don is dumbfounded and asks, "What?" To which she responds, “I always forget, nobody wants to think they're a type.” (She goes on to sleep him later because he is Don Draper. That doesn't even need a "spoiler alert.")

It's true, no one likes to think of themselves as fulfilling a stereotype. It sucks to think we might fit into a nice little one-dimensional box, that we're predictable or a "basic bitch." But we are. No matter how hard we might try to be ourselves, to express our human individuality, to separate ourselves from the pack. From a certain perspective, we are just like a million other people living on the planet. And a billion who have lived and died before us. (If it makes you feel any better, from another perspective, you are as unique as a snowflake!)

A wise man told us don't argue with fools, because people from a distance can't tell who is who. And what greater distance than across the anonymity-making Internet. Spend enough time online, and it starts to seem like everyone responding to you might be one of maybe three or four varieties of robot designed specifically to annoy you in a slightly different way. Identifiable sorts of personalities that we become all too familiar with. Here's 14 Types of Rap Fans You Meet On The Internet.

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The guy who blames the radio and major labels for everything.

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The 17-year-old keep-it-real kid who hates all new rap but thinks Nas, Big L, Biggie, and OutKast were the only things to happen in hip-hop during the '90s.

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The diehard, longtime, "I-was-into-them-before-they-blew-up" fan who obsessively rails against any new music that his favorite artist releases, to the point where it's pretty clear that he's not really a fan of that artist anymore.

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The tough-talker who may or may not actually be from the hood, but posts like he's sitting in a Queensbridge stairwell. He makes frequent use of capital letters, has little regard for punctuation, and often shoots down arguments by saying, "You ain't never been to the hood!"

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The person who has some insanely specific behind-the-scenes information and tells some regional/industry/gangster/sexual story that can't be anything but true.

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The guy who sees the art of rapping as a completely one-dimensional craft of technical proficiency rather than a multi-dimensional art that involves things like songcraft, musicality, emotion, etc.

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The thirsty fan who responds to every tweet or Instagram post from their favorite rappers with a proposal for sex or a question about whether or not he or she (usually she) can send nude pictures of him or herself.

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The white hipster who is harshly critical of anything and everything any white rapper does, but offers full carte blanche, politically and musically, to impoverished rappers of color.

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The guys who have A$AP, OVO, or GBE in their Twitter handles but no real affiliation whatsoever with the brand.

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The wannabe critic who declares everything derivative and asks, "But will we be talking about this 10 years from now?" instead of just enjoying the music.

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The international rap fan who keeps it realer than anyone in America.

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The conspiracy theorist who talks like they have secret knowledge of the innermost workings of the music industry, as if they had dinner with Lyor Cohen and Jimmy Iovine every night—even though its pretty obvious that they don't.

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The guys who "would really appreciate if you could check out my new mixtape. I think you'll really love it. God bless."

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The dreaded Nas Stan who is so devoted to a single artist that he or she (usually he) swears there's a vast conspiracy against said artist, and that even the tiniest step in the direction of questioning this artist's brilliance is a sign of personally biased hatred. They also think everyone is on Jay Z's nuts and feel the need to bring it up—even when no one has mentioned Jay Z's name in the conversation.

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