Original Song: Betty Everett "Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)" (1962)

Backup singers camping things into the gag-reflex zone while she barrels through, throwing 'bows with her voice even as she insists “that's just his arm,” all in service of a movie set in 1963 and apparently not really about mermaids, Cher entirely misses the boat on the sweet humor and soul innocence of Mississippi gospel-choir graduate Betty Everett's original. Heck, even Linda Ronstadt did Everett's “You're No Good” better than this. So did Van Halen. And “The World's A Mess, It's In My Kiss” by X beat all of them.