10 Conspiracy Theories We Wish Were True

It seems like every day there’s a new conspiracy theory making its way to the forefront of the internet and making us question everything. From immortality to weather control, here are 10 conspiracy theories we wish were true.

This is a photo of a man on the computer in a dark room.
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conspiracy-theories

This is a photo of a man on the computer in a dark room.

Conspiracy theories are ruled by the notion that nothing is as it seems. Thanks to the internet, these theories run rampant on social media, and their focus shifts back and forth between political and pop culture. While most conspiracies seem to have a sinister or evil undertone, there are some pop culture conspiracies that simply beg the question, “who stands to gain from this?”

It can be argued that belief in conspiracy theories is based heavily on the refusal to accept fact or take anything at face value, which sometimes isn’t a bad idea. However, this level of paranoia can easily spiral out of control. Conspiracy theories tend to be centered around people in power, with the government and celebrities being the usual targets. These conspiracies hone in on small details and blow up from there.

By now, most of us are familiar with the phrase “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams,” a conspiracy that alludes to 9/11 having been an inside job. We've also seen those still shots of Beyoncés pregnant tummy supposedly folding over, giving way to room for theories that she didn’t actually give birth to Blue Ivy. And of course, the Kardashians aren’t immune to pregnancy conspiracy theories, either.

We’ve previously delved into B.o.B’s conspiracy theory beliefs, which are much wider spread and have a much larger audience than Beyonce-Blue Ivy birth truthers. B.o.B didn’t invent the theory of the Earth being flat, and he didn’t invent the conspiracy that slavery never existed, but he did bring both of them into our peripheral vision—despite claiming his social media is censored—to remind us that people hold onto unpopular beliefs the way babies cling to bottles.

Although many conspiracy theories can be ridiculous and harmful, here are 10 innocent conspiracy theories we wish were true.

Barack Obama Can Control The Weather

Barack Obama

Nicki Minaj’s Voice Is Jay Z's Sped Up

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There’s audio showing that when Jay Z’s voice is sped up, it sounds like Nicki, and that Nicki’s voice slows down, it sounds like Jay Z. Imagining Jay Z in the booth rapping about busting his p*ssy open on the islands of Waikiki is enough to make us wish this were true.

Nicolas Cage Is A Vampire

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A photo of a man from 1870 who bears an uncanny resemblance to Cage has surfaced, forcing most of us to consider the fact that Nic Cage may actually be immortal. His scene in Vampire’s Kiss, where he runs in the street screaming “I’m a vampire!” doesn’t help matters. Cage responded to the rumors on Letterman by stating, “I don’t drink blood,” which is exactly what a vampire would say.

Dinosaurs Helped Build The Pyraminds

This is a photo fo a dinosaur.

Stevie Wonder Isn't Blind

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You knew this would be on here—it’s been memed to death. He’s been pictured looking at Rihanna and videotaped catching a falling mic stand. This one is kind of disrespectful, but would be hilarious if it turned out to be true.

Katy Perry Is JonBenét Ramsey

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Despite bearing no resemblance to each other whatsoever and having been born six years apart, people are convinced that singer Katy Perry is actually JonBenét Ramsey. Imagining a beauty queen faking her death in order to become a pop star and later collab with Juicy J is much more pleasant than the reality. 

Taylor Swift Is Zeena LaVey

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The theory that Taylor Swift is actually former Satanic cult leader Zeena LaVey is one that at least warrants research before being cast aside. The two look awfully similar, and pop music can be just as intoxicating as the Devil himself. The Church of Satan has refused to claim Taylor Swift, and roasts her on Twitter every chance they get.

Tupac Is Alive

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Tupac has been “spotted” all over the world, most famously in Cuba. This is one of those conspiracy theories we always think will finally end, but resurfaces every couple of years. Currently, the conspiracy theory mills are churning out “evidence” that Tupac was spotted living with Biggie in Somalia.

Avril Lavigne Died In 2003

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There have been several viral threads on Twitter about this theory, but people have been talking about this since a blog called "Avril Esta Morta (Avril is Dead)" posted about it in 2012. The gist of it is that Avril Lavigne actually died in 2003 and was replaced by an actress named Melissa Vandella, who was originally hired to be her body double for paparazzi. An over-analysis of her lyrics and the number of freckles on her arm in 2003 vs now are the main points of evidence, along with numerous fans saying that the real Avril is “too punk” to have married the singer from Nickelback.

To be clear, we don't wish Avril were dead—we just wish that something this wild would happen IRL.

Keanu Reeves Is Immortal

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According to keanuisimmortal.com, Keanu Reeves is actually Paul Mounet, a French actor whose body was never found when he died in 1922. When Reeves was asked about this conspiracy theory, he agreed that the two look identical and said “We’re all stardust, baby!” We love a king of the cosmos.

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