Reddit bills itself as the front page of the Internet. If one were to extend this metaphor, then AskReddit would be the headline splashed across the top of that front page, because there is nothing as consistently exciting, absorbing, and cringe-worthy as the posts on AskReddit.
The premise is simple: ask a question, any question, and the Reddit community will answer. But because this is the internet we're dealing with, threads frequently devolve into a free-falling tailspin. A thread asking for advice can become a real-time live blog, with the poster following the community's wisdom and uploading the results. A request for personal stories can become a group therapy session for people suffering from similar traumas, or a forum to reveal painful secrets.
There are creepy stories about the supernatural, anecdotal threads about the indignities of life, and of course, there's always humor—often pitch-black gallows humor, but still. Psychologists say that humor is a mature, legitimate coping mechanism for dealing with pain. If so, the members of the AskReddit community are unusually well-adjusted. Things can get really dark on AskReddit, but the Reddit community always finds a way to make people laugh about it—most of the time, respectfully.
Think of this as a primer; these are the best AskReddit threads.
Google Chrome Hacks
Google's browser might waste a metric ton of RAM, but the free plugins to customize Chrome make up for it. There are plugins that allow you to tunnel through firewalls, plugins that will close idle pages after X amount of time, and even a plugin to add back the "View Image" option to Google image search. Check out this thorough, well-referenced thread to learn about all the must-have extensions.
Pics or It Didn't Happen!
There are so many off-the-wall stories and claims on AskReddit that you might ask yourself, "Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?" But this thread, where posters are required to provide photographic evidence for their scariest stories, eliminates that nagging sense of incredulity and doubt.
Unsettling Houses and Human Dwellings
"Your house is your kingdom," the saying goes. Home is a private place where people get to be whoever they truly are, away from the judging eyes of the public. This thread, where people discuss the most bizarre things they've seen in other people's homes, tries to undo that privacy.
There's a woman who put out a table setting for a doll. There's a hoarder who painted everything inside his house white. And much, much more.
The Happiest Place on Earth?
Walt Disney World is famous for its impeccable guest service. But that comes at a cost. Maintaining the illusion of perfection means that the employees are expected to go above and beyond. This thread has some fantastic stories from Disney employees past and present.
For example, if you're in costume and you get sick? You're supposed to throw up in your mask; taking it off is a huge no-no. Also, you might be surprised to learn that none of the in-park music turns off at night; it's literally blaring 24/7.
The Ballad of "Kevin"
This is a mean, schadenfreude-laden thread, where people reminisce on the dumbest person they've ever met. But one embittered, retired teacher took the cake by talking about her former student Kevin and his family. It was, in her opinion, "an incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago." Among her memories of his parents:
"Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 7-Eleven after school."
"Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)."
And that's not even getting to Kevin himself.
When Being Lazy Becomes Hard Work
This is an especially funny thread where people discuss the laziest they've ever been. Some stories are sort of relatable, like the person who eats out of the pan so he or she doesn't have to clean the plate. Some are weirder, like the person who lines bowls with tin foil so he or she doesn't have to wash the actual bowl. And it only gets worse from there. At some point, the effort to be lazy outpaces the effort to do the necessary work.
Families Keep Secrets
This thread documents the skeletons in people's closets: awful family members who did terrible things, but managed to live the lie for a long time. Among other secrets, Redditors spill about Nazi aunts, serial killer cousins, and parents with secret families.
How to Be Scary
This is a Psychology 101 thread that teaches you how to manipulate and influence the people around you with mind games. For example: employ silence and eye contact during awkward moments. It'll usually cause the other person to continue talking. Also, if you want somebody to complete a time-consuming task, first ask them to do something easier, and then slowly increase the workload and level of commitment. Basically, this thread is a tutorial on how to be evil.
"Come play with us, Danny."
Here's one of the better parenting threads out there, where moms and dads recall the creepiest things their children ever said to them. Like when a man's three-year-old looks at her baby brother and says, "Daddy, it's a monster. We should bury it." Or a different three-year-old asks her parents, "So I shouldn't throw him in the fire?" Good stuff.
The Roommate from Hell
This is a solid thread with a simple premise: terrible college roommates with awful personalities and poor personal habits. A public service announcement for upcoming college freshmen: don't eat all of your roommate's food. Also, don't get a gun and try to kill your roommate. Yes, that's an actual story buried in the comments.
Buy Your Casket at Costco!
This thread is educational and eye-opening. Professionals spill the secrets about their respective industries: the ways that they grift customers or cook the books, and cautionary advice for consumers. Always wash your produce, and beware of funeral directors; they'll leverage your guilt to make you spend more money burying Grandma.
Real Men Love Ponies
Here's a gender role-busting thread where men confess to the unmanly things they do. Some confessions are funny (like watching Desperate Housewives while eating Ben & Jerry's). But others posts make a compelling point, about the value of crying rather than suppressing emotions.
Follow the White Rabbit
This is a classic thread that discusses “glitches in the Matrix,” when people have memories of things that happened, only to discover that the memory was impossible. Like when one Redditor recalled being told that an uncle was dead, only to be told later he was still alive. Or when another Redditor lost a close friend and received a call from the dead friend's cell phone.
My Childhood Was Even Worse Than I Thought
There is zero joy and lots of heartbreak in this thread, where posters share horrible, traumatic childhood memories that are even more horrible in retrospect. So fair warning: stories of physical, emotional, and sexual violence reside here. But they are utterly compelling, and in many instances, extremely well-written. Not for the faint of heart.
One Person
This sums up, better than anything, what the general vibe of Reddit is.
There are tons of sex threads on AskReddit, asking people to share everything from their first times to their specific kinks. This thread—which asked posters to name any person, from all of human history, who they would like to have sex with—elicited a wide range of responses. One person wanted to sleep with a pirate. Another person wanted to sleep with late '90s Jennifer Love Hewitt. And one poster decided to answer the question seriously:
"I'd like to have sex one more time with my wife who passed away from cancer 9 years ago. My body yearns for hers. The ultimate downside to finding ‘the one"’is she may die young and leave you wanting."
Sad, poignant, and sweet. So of course, another Redditor had to ruin it:
"I also choose this guy's dead wife."
Savagery. And they say that romance is dead.
