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A trio of would-be Jeff Bezos robbers successfully smashed his window in Beverly Hills last week.
As revealed in a TMZ report Monday, the Amazon founder's Beverly Hills home was "targeted by burglars" Wednesday night. After smashing a window at the property, however, the three unidentified individuals fled the scene. Local police, TMZ added, now believe these were the same men who pulled off a more successful break-in at a nearby mansion before leading authorities on a 25-minute car chase.
The chase came to an anticlimactic end, however, when the men were reportedly able to exit their vehicle and disappear on foot. Nothing is believed to have been lifted from Bezos' house.
That's all there is to say about this incident, but in the interest of hitting my 250-word requirement, let's continue with another Bezos-related topic. Last month, Bezos detailed his space plans. "In the not-too-distant future—I'm talking decades, maybe 100 years, it'll start to be easier to do a lot of the things that we currently do on Earth in space because we'll have so much energy," Bezos, who founded the spaceflight company Blue Origin in 2000, told the Space Development Conference crowd. "We will have to leave this planet. We're going to leave it, and it's going to make this planet better."
Bezos is currently the richest motherfucker on the planet, coming in on the most recent ranking a full 22 billion dollars above fellow rich motherfucker Bill Gates. As I am neither rich nor a motherfucker, I failed to make the ranking.