This Meme Is Here to Tell You Everything You Should've Done by Age 35

The clock is ticking my friends.

By age 35 meme
Getty

Image via Getty/Peter Bischoff

By age 35 meme

Last week, an article from MarketWatch circulated the web after reporting that by the time an adult human reaches the age of 35, they should have double their annual salary saved in the bank. You heard me. Your salary times two. *Cue panic mode.*

By 35, you should have twice your salary saved, according to retirement experts: https://t.co/QoVA6EFpHJ

— MarketWatch (@MarketWatch) May 12, 2018

[turns pockets inside out; two moths fly out]

oh no my moths https://t.co/SpVs7AVfqO

— Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) May 15, 2018

As Mashable points out, a popular new meme is now turning that advice on its head, by making light of impossible indicators of success for those adults, like myself, who certainly don't have their sh*t together. The “by age 35” meme provides some comic relief to people who are nowhere close to the aforementioned financial goal. Some of the tasks, like the one below, are totally achievable, which should make us all feel better about ourselves. 

Others are completely ridiculous, which makes sense because who can save double their salary by the time they're 35? And who can really spell “bananas” without Gwen Stefani?

By age 35, you should have figured out how to spell “bananas” without having to mentally sing Hollaback Girl

— @JonBaker@mastodon.social (@JonBaker) May 20, 2018

Luckily I still have plenty of time until I reach the golden age of 35, but good luck to the rest of y’all. Time is ticking, so check some other tasks you should complete by 35 below.

by age 35 you should have a kitchen cabinet dedicated entirely to plastic bags that contain other, smaller plastic bags

— vytas (@VytasJokubaitis) May 20, 2018

By age 35 you should have a junk drawer filled with USB flash drives you’re reluctant to throw out because you don’t know what’s on them but are reluctant to plug in because... you don’t know what’s on them

— aloria@infosec.exchange (@aloria) May 20, 2018

By age 35, you should have at least 10 framed pictures of Jeff Goldblum in your home.

— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) May 20, 2018

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