You would think a man who claims to be POTUS so adamantly would have more important things to do than tweet empty threats at former VPs, but clearly, we no longer live in a world tethered to any semblance of logic.

Early Thursday, after his morning refitting and hair re-implantation or whatever the hell neo-Nazi-sympathizers do in the morning, Trump falsely claimed that former VP Joe Biden was "both mentally and physically" weak. "He doesn't know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way," Trump fantasized, presumably before punching the nearest Filet-O-Fish and thus injuring his similarly over-bronzed knuckles.

Fuck this guy.

Trump's comments, of course, were a response to comments Biden made at an anti-assault event at the University of Miami earlier this week. "I've been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life," Biden told the crowd. "I'm a pretty damn good athlete. Any guy who talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest SOB in the room." In addition to his accurate summation of Trump's abject ugliness, Biden said he'd "take [Trump] behind the gym and beat the hell out of him" if they were in high school together.

Trump recently hit Putin with an election congrats, despite reportedly being urged by national security advisers to do the exact opposite. Per CNN, Trump is reportedly "infuriated" about the leak, which sources say Trump sees as another sign that those in his own administration are trying to undermine him.

Anyway, here's how to draw a Trumpian micropenis, just for future reference: