Around 5:41 on Wednesday morning, my son shouted in the early morning darkness for my wife. She was asleep, so I rushed to see what was wrong with this fifth grader. Do you know what this kid told me? "Nothing's wrong, I'm just trying to see the Super Blue Blood Moon."
If I wasn't half sleep at the time, I would've done more than grumble and head downstairs while he got dressed. The fucked up part about all of this? He didn't even get to see the Super Blue Blood Moon, which was the mixture of an eclipse, a blue moon, and a super moon (and no, I'm not sure what most of that means). It's apparently the first time this has happened since 1866, and IT WAS STREAMING LIVE ON YOUTUBE AND PERISCOPE, SO HE COULD'VE WATCHED IT AT ANY TIME.
Why do I bring up my jacked-up morning to you? Because intergalactic feats like Super Dope Blood Moons make everyone nutty. Inverse spoke to medical professionals, who seem to get the most frazzled. No, Super Turnt Crip Moons don't have any actual effect on doctors and nurses, but they seem to think people will go Extra Stupid Ham during these kinds of situations.
"We pride ourselves on being scientific people," Dr. Patricia Valcke told Inverse, "But the more celestial events that line up, the weirder things get." I'm not sure if these stories of nursing homes going "wonky" or odd behaviors from the elderly during these astronomical abnormalities are just urban myths passed from professional to professional, but it would appear these nurses and doctors get on their guard when it's time for an eclipse or the like.
This isn't the first time I've heard this before. An Uber driver I had told me her 9-to-5 was working as a security guard at a local psych prison. She'd been there for at least a decade, and said that shit usually got hairy during full moons. Sadly, a study was released at the top of the year that found no connections between lunacy and abnormal lunar activities.
Maybe we have to blame things like the Wolfman, who only turned from mortal human into insane beast during a full moon, or horror movies in general using bright full moons to signal the fuckery that's about to go down. Or maybe these kinds of lunar eclipses and such don't make old people crazy; maybe they effect the youth, like my insane son, who was up almost 90 minutes before his alarm went off to catch a glimpse of a phenomenon that was literally only visible on the internet.
Either way, that was 20+ minutes of sleep I'll never get back. Thanks, Super Dope Fun Moon!