What the fuck is this? Lucky Charms is set to nix a beloved yellow marshmallow from its marshmallow lineup later this year?
The classic yellow hourglass will be stepping down from its Lucky Charms role this spring, according to the hardened cereal reporters over at People. Amazingly, a variety of publications have spent actual time—minutes, maybe even hours—informing people of this impending loss.
"The hourglass has been a part of Lucky Charms since 2008, but as with any hourglass, its time is up," a General Mills spokesperson said Friday. A replacement marshmallow has not yet announced, with the spokesperson saying only that we will have to "wait and see," as if any of us are interested in taking time-management advice from a cereal company that's poised to evict an hourglass from its roster.
To the delight of fans of general absurdity, the hourglass' upcoming death is also being discussed publicly via tweets:
Not to bust up the Lucky hype with pizza propaganda, but your morning bowl of cereal may actually be worse for the body than a morning slice. "A slice of pizza contains more fat and much less sugar than most cold cereals, so you will not experience a quick sugar crash," nutritionist Chelsey Amer recently told the Daily Meal. Bummer.