Doritos Is Rolling Out Sexist-as-F*ck Chips

TFW you asked for equal pay but you got chips instead.

Doritos
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Image via Getty/Jeff Greenberg/UIG

Doritos

Doritos has a lot of explaining to do. The chip brand apparently didn’t get the memo that it’s 2018, because they’ve debuted a product that sounds like it’s straight from the 1950s: female-friendly chips. I wish I were kidding, but apparently the patriarchy is all too real these days. Allegedly, the ladylike chips are basically normal Doritos that make less of a crunching noise when you eat them. They’re also smaller and the bag they come in is designed to fit inside a purse. (P.S. My vagina literally grew fangs writing this.)

As the global chief executive at Pepsico, Indra Nooyi, explained in an interview with Freakanomics radio, “ When you eat out of a flex bag–one of our single-serve bags–especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom.” Ok, yes and… “Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.” TF!?

I don’t know where to begin with this one, guys. I'm not sure if we should boycott the brand or start a viral, crunch chip-eating, finger-licking, bag-tossing campaign. It’s worth reiterating that Doritos is owned by PepsiCo, so maybe they’re still suffering a bad case of Kendall-Jenner-ad-itis. What else could explain this spectacularly ignorant and tone-deaf (pun intended) decision? Naturally, Twitter has weighed, and they are not here for Doritos' sexist trash snack.

.@Doritos is apparently launching 'ladies crisps' as women supposedly don't like crunching loudly or licking their fingers. AND they're magically sized to fit a lady's handbag. This can't be real?!? pic.twitter.com/rZEjMIdIWf

— Sabrina Barr (@fabsab5) February 5, 2018

Now that Doritos has delivered us from sexism, what are we gonna do instead of a women’s march next year, gals, should we just hang out quietly eating chips?

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 5, 2018

WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS https://t.co/dNCmxEv3aJ

— Hungry City Hippy 🍳 (@HungryCityHippy) February 5, 2018

When will there be Doritos for MEN

— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) February 5, 2018

About to sit down and write an angry letter to Doritos. pic.twitter.com/CXEWt1Xb1s

— Molly Hodgdon (@Manglewood) February 5, 2018

.@Doritos If you're doing "lady-chips," I would love some Cool Ranch infused with Plan B

— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) February 5, 2018

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