Ending a relationship is never easy. Especially if it was based on a contractually binding agreement.
This was the case for one Redditor who recently decided to break up with his local Planet Fitness. When he attempted to cancel his membership over the phone, the man was told he had to submit a certified letter explaining why he was no longer interested in being a customer. It’s a ridiculously inconvenient requirement that is likely intended to thwart membership cancelations; but if you’re truly set on breaking your contract without creating a big fuss, it’s best to comply.
So, the man chose to fulfill his obligation and penned a beautiful—and entertaining—breakup letter addressed to the so-called “Judgment Free Zone.”
He began by expressing his regret, asserting his honest principles, and underscoring the difficulty of his decision. He then segues into the standard “it’s not you, it’s me” routine, but delivers it in a convincing and heartfelt way. No, really. Take notes if you’re uncomfortable with ghosting or have a hard time breaking up with someone face-to-face.
“I know I've been distant. But it's because I've changed. I have different needs now, and to be frank ... you really haven't changed at all,” he wrote. “[…] I don’t want to change you, and it pains me to think that we were once one, but we are now separate and in different places.”
He then explains that he is involved with someone else (the gym at his apartment complex), but insists he will never forget all the good times he and Planet Fitness had together.
“I don’t want you to be jealous, or to judge me based on this decision. That is not the Planet Fitness I know and love. I still love you, but more like a friend at this point,” he explained. “[…] I still think fondly of you, and the time we spent together as I drive by one of your many locations. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I even throw on one of my old ‘power-pop workout’ playlists and feel the rush of our past course through me as if we were still one, holding hands with your elliptical machine, and gingerly brushing my sweaty bangs out of my face as I huff and puff in a tumultuous vortex of sweat and endorphins.”
If you need a good laugh—or a good cry—you can read the full letter below. No word on how Planet Fitness is handling all of this.