I write about fecal matter far more than I ever thought I would in this capacity. From the world-famous Portland defecator to the heat-caused explosion of actual horse shit, this shitty world's continued desire for shit is increasing at an extremely shitty rate. From a marketing perspective, why not embrace this shittiness by slapping a hat and a face on a piece of fecal matter and calling it your new mascot? Makes sense to me.

Denny's, a place where humans gather to indulge on the grandest slams in the world, apparently has a new in-restaurant mascot and, uhhhhh, it looks like shit.

And with that tweet, the Denny's shit mascot jokes abruptly ended and life continued as if this troubling character never existed. 

This mascot, unofficially named by me as Mr. Are We Sure This Doesn't Look Like Something Else, has since popped up on Mashable and elsewhere, uniting otherwise miserable people in acknowledging the resemblance to fecal matter.

Even worse, the hat atop this shit's head would appear to be *gasps* a fedora.

Denny's did not immediately respond to Complex's request for comment about this shit.