Ted Cruz Introduces So-Called 'El Chapo Act' to Fund Trump's Ridiculous Border Wall

Ted Cruz took time off from trying unbelievably hard to convince everyone around him that he is, in fact, human to introduce the so-called "El Chapo Act."

Cruz
Flickr

Image via Gage Skidmore

Cruz

Ted Cruz has a stupid idea on how to fund Trump's stupid Mexico border wall that no one wants to pay for: El Chapo. Cruz introduced the Ensuring Lawful Collection of Hidden Assets to Provide Order Act on Tuesday, CNNreported. This so-called "El Chapo Act" would, in theory, take any assets seized in the prosecution of Joaquín Archivaldo Guzmán Loera and dump them into the stupid wall's construction.

"Fourteen billion dollars will go a long way toward building a wall that will keep Americans safe and hinder the illegal flow of drugs, weapons, and individuals across our southern border," Cruz said in a statement. "Ensuring the safety and security of Texans is one of my top priorities. We must also be mindful of the impact on the federal budget. By leveraging any criminally forfeited assets of El Chapo and his ilk, we can offset the wall's cost and make meaningful progress toward achieving President Trump's stated border security objectives."

The US government is seeking the criminal forfeiture of $14B+ in drug proceeds & illicit profits from El Chapo. https://t.co/5SElazzr9X pic.twitter.com/wkIp10NEik

— Senator Ted Cruz (@SenTedCruz) April 25, 2017

Trump's plan for a stupid wall, which he and Cruz apparently believe is a good idea (spoiler: it most certainly is not), has again become a topic of discussion ahead of a possible government shutdown this week. The push regarding border wall funding, however, has reportedly been put on pause. In a report released the same day Cruz was tweeting profusely about the El Chapo Act, NBC News said Trump had "indicated" he was open to getting border wall funding in the appropriations process for 2018 later this year.

In a real tweet actually sent by the actual president Sunday, Trump once again claimed that Mexico would (eventually) pay for the stupid wall:

Eventually, but at a later date so we can get started early, Mexico will be paying, in some form, for the badly needed border wall.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 23, 2017

But, um, that's simply not going to happen. For more, I personally recommend following former Mexican president Vicente Fox Quesada immediately:

.@realDonaldTrump the #FuckingWall is only important to you. It's the last promise youve not completely failed, eventhough it's idiotic. https://t.co/WU42KCQb1y

— Vicente Fox Quesada (@VicenteFoxQue) April 24, 2017

#Trump.Don't Lie to US tax payers,they'll pay $35B for FUKING & useless wall. American people Wake Up! believe me MX NOT Paying fuking wall

— Vicente Fox Quesada (@VicenteFoxQue) April 23, 2017

.@realDonaldTrump no sabe lo que hace, aquí una prueba de ello: 67% de terreno fronterizo es propiedad privada. No al #FuckingWall https://t.co/U81raS6cz1

— Vicente Fox Quesada (@VicenteFoxQue) March 19, 2017

.@realDonaldTrump's budget for his #FuckingWall will come from US taxpayers. One more lie, the only truth is that MÉXICO IS NOT PAYING!

— Vicente Fox Quesada (@VicenteFoxQue) March 16, 2017

Latest in Life