In two separate interviews Monday morning, Bowling Green Massacre creator Kellyanne Conway confirmed she has no evidence to support Trump's recent claims of being wiretapped by the Obama administration. While denying that she suggested spying microwaves were used inside Trump Tower, Conway also confirmed that she is not, in fact, noted cyborg detective Inspector Gadget.

Asked specifically about the Trump Tower wiretapping claims by the Bergen Record this weekend, Conway offered the following:

What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other now, unfortunately. There was an article this week that talked about how you can surveil someone through their phones, certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways. And microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera. So we know that that is just a fact of modern life.

Pressed by CNN's Chris Cuomo on Monday's New Day, Conway used the "generally" defense when asked about the suggestion. "I was answering a question about surveillance techniques generally," Conway said, to which Cuomo reminded her that the Bergen Record had asked a specific (i.e. not general) question regarding Trump Tower. "I'm not Inspector Gadget," Conway said. "I don't believe people are using the microwave to spy on the Trump campaign. However, I'm not in the job of having evidence; that's what investigations are for."

In a separate interview with Good Morning America's George Stephanopoulos Monday, Conway was again asked about the suggestion and again used the "generally" defense. When Stephanopoulos asked Conway if she had evidence of Trump's wiretapping claims, Conway confirmed she did not. "I have no evidence, but that's why there's an investigation in Congress," Conway said. Asked by Stephanopoulos for clarity regarding the absence of evidence, Conway said "of course" she had no evidence. Of course.

After we all collectively sigh for 45 minutes straight while continuing our national descent into full-on alcoholism, perhaps we can blow off some existential steam with some tweets:

My microwave did not immediately respond to Complex's request for comment, so I used it to warm up last night's pizza.