Being POTUS comes with many perks: a bangin' house, being "the leader of the free world," celebrity friends, nuclear codes, and best of all—pets. If a dog was never in your cards due to some pesky landlord or partner with allergies, all you have to do is win the presidency, and you can use the tradition of White House pets as your reason to finally #AdoptDontShop. Every president in the last 150 years has had a pet in the White House, and Donald Trump probably won't be the first to break that sentimental American custom.
On Tuesday, the Washington Post reported that a goldendoodle named Patton may be poised to be our country's First Dog come January. The 9-week-old golden retriever and poodle mix is currently being raised by Lois Pope, a prominent philanthropist in Palm Beach, Florida. Pope told the Post that she's known Trump for more than two decades, and showed him a photo of Patton at his recent Thanksgiving event. Pope says the President-elect then told her to show the picture to his son Barron, which "brought tears to his eyes."
Meet Patton the Goldendoodle. Will he become Trump’s first dog?https://t.co/NJRnXNzhCD— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) December 6, 2016
According to the Post:
Trump spokeswoman Hope Hicks said in an email Tuesday that “no decisions have been made” about the dog. But Pope said she is confident that the Trumps will take the puppy, which she named Patton after George Patton, a World War II general Trump has said he admires.
If the rumors are true, and Trump does bring Patton—or any canine—to the White House, what would be in store for the First Dog? According to Trump's own Twitter, the President-elect's understanding of canine behavior and how dogs are treated may indicate that Patton faces a tough journey ahead. To combat Trump's negative dog-stereotyping, Patton needs to avoid the following:
Trump thinks one disgusting thing dogs do is sweat a lot, like former Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio. This should be easy for Patton, since dogs don't really sweat and actually pant to cool themselves down.
Ted Cruz lifts the Bible high into the air and then lies like a dog-over and over again! The Evangelicals in S.C. figured him out & said no!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 23, 2016
Mitt Romney had his chance to beat a failed president but he choked like a dog. Now he calls me racist-but I am least racist person there is— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 11, 2016
Begging for Money
.@BrentBozell, one of the National Review lightweights, came to my office begging for money like a dog. Why doesn't he say that?— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 23, 2016
Cheating on a Celebrity Boyfriend
Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again--just watch. He can do much better!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012
Any of this low-brow behavior might result in Patton being thrown off television and ultimately, being fired:
.@georgewillf is perhaps the most boring political pundit on television. Got thrown off ABC like a dog. At Mar-a-Lago he was a total bust!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 18, 2015
.@EWErickson got fired like a dog from RedState— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 18, 2016
and now he is the one leading opposition against me.
Wow was Ted Cruz disloyal to his very capable director of communication. He used him as a scape goat-fired like a dog! Ted panicked.— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 23, 2016
Union Leader refuses to comment as to why they were kicked out of the ABC News debate like a dog. For starters, try getting a new publisher!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 10, 2016
Wow, great news! I hear @EWErickson of Red State was fired like a dog. If you read his tweets, you'll understand why. Just doesn't have IT!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 8, 2015
I hear that sleepy eyes @chucktodd will be fired like a dog from ratings starved Meet The Press? I can't imagine what is taking so long!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 13, 2015
Egypt is a total mess. We should have backed Mubarak instead of dropping him like a dog.— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 12, 2012
Reverend Wright was dumped like a dog by @BarackObama--he can't be feeling too good.— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 30, 2012
Obama called Reverend Wright his friend, counselor & great leader--then dumped him like a dog!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 3, 2012