I always knew there was a reason I felt so fucking safe when surrounded by an assortment of sex toys. In times of impending peril, these companions of pleasure can be used as makeshift weapons. Don't believe me? Look at this:
Two employees at San Bernardino sex shop Lotions & Lace were captured by surveillance video fighting off an attempted robbery Wednesday night, KABC reported. A man walked into the shop at "around 9:45 p.m." with his faced covered, pointing what "appeared to be" a gun. But one employee, identified only as "Amy," wasn't fazed.
"With the gun, he walked in," Amy told KABC Thursday. "I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us. But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don't have time for this." As she started yelling at the would-be robber, he grabbed her. That's when the sex toys started flying.
According to the shop's other employee, the guy was a coward "coming in and trying to get over on two females and not realizing [they] were pretty feisty." With his robbery attempt swiftly thwarted by orgasm aides, the unidentified suspect eventually left the shop. As noted in KABC's initial report, police don't generally recommend approaching armed robbers. Not even with a handful of sex toys.