17-year-old Pennsylvania resident Kelvin Peña's new squad is a herd of deer that enjoys doing the latter.
Peña tells BuzzFeed the deer wandered into his backyard last week, and that when he approached the deer he felt they had "a connection."
"I expected him to leave but he kept following me, so that’s when I grabbed some club crackers and started feeding him," Peña told BuzzFeed.
He named the deer "Money" because, as he says, "cause I feel like he deserves that name. Money makes me happy and he did too so I felt like we had a friendship."
Of course, newly discovered digital fame brings with it a bevy of exciting opportunities, and Peña wasted little time reveling in the sweet throes of capitalism. For just $25, you can own a T-shirt with Money's likeness on it and the words "EVERYBODY EATS" emblazoned across the chest. The name of Peña's shop? "Deer Squad."
Peña says he's selling the shirts to buy Money "AND HIS FAM" some "FIRE HEALTHY FOOD," because no animal should be subject to eating crackers for the rest of its life.
Fair enough, Kelv. Fair enough.