6 things we're totally unaware of when it comes to the other gender

Men want to be wanted, too.

Apr 10, 2016
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Image via Complex Original
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Image via Complex Original

The question of what it's like to be the opposite gender has mystified people since pretty much the beginning of humanity. And who better to answer it than everyday men and women on Reddit?

Two recent threads address this topic from opposite perspectives: One, by Keetek, asks, "What aspects of a man's life are most women unaware of?" and another, by Jec8, inquires, "What aspects of a woman's life are most men unaware of?"

Aside from the misconceptions and gaps of knowledge we have around the opposite gender's body, we can also be ignorant about what life is like for them on a daily basis.

Here are some aspects of each gender's life that you may not be aware of. 

Little-known facts about being a woman

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1. Women can be just as gross as men

The thread on lesser-known aspects of women's lives quickly devolved into a list of the grossest things women deal with. 

One experience cisgender men may not not know about, for example, is "when you're on your period and stand up after sitting for a long time, only to feel a massive gush of blood exit your vag," according to snarkledoo. "It's very hard to maintain a nonchalant facial expression when internally you're thinking 'MOTHER OF GOD, PLEASE DON'T OVERFLOW BEFORE I CAN FIND A TOILET.'"

"Panties suddenly wet after a position change or sneeze" is another thing those with vaginas deal with, said ohvarynice.

But hxmx's takes the cake for the most vulgar aspect of womanhood: "Sometimes, in daily life, hair (from your head) makes its way into your buttcrack and butthole."

Whoever says women are dainty and ladylike has probably never been one. 

2. Sometimes they really are just being friendly

Lunasolaris cleared up the misconception that women who act friendly to men are "leading them on" or flirting.

Thelyfeaquatic related to "the struggle of when to casually mention you have a boyfriend... too early and you look conceited, too late and you're a tease."

It might seem obvious to women that their friendliness can have a completely unromantic meaning, but in musicalrapture's experience, men don't always know.

"I had a guy friend who constantly took women smiling at him as a hint that they were interested in him romantically," they said. "It never occurred to him that women might smile at him when they make eye contact just to be nice. Not everything has a hidden meaning!"

3. Crying is not a choice

Perhaps because men learn very young to control their tears, they don't always understand that many women never developed this skill. This can lead to accusations that women are crying to be manipulative.

However, Giantgorilladick reassured Redditors, "some women might do this, but when I cry, I guarantee I'm trying my hardest not to. When I get very stressed or angry or overwhelmed, my reaction is to cry. And no matter how hard I try, I can't stop it. And it sucks."

It especially sucks when mad crying is misinterpreted as sad crying. "Angry tears are the absolute worst. I have cried in front of bosses in the past, and it's always awful," said jesern.

"You cry because you're mad, which makes you madder, which makes you cry harder. The worst," agreed Damn_Amazon.

Little-known facts about being a man

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1. They want to be wanted

Madame de Staël famously said, “The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.” But, it turns out, men desire their partners' desire as well.

"As men, we also want to feel sexually wanted too," said JosephND, describing an ex who never expressed her attraction to him. "After a year and a half, I realized how low my self-esteem had fallen in that regard and started to emotionally disconnect from her."

Chefdev also ended a relationship because his ex "never once initiated sex, rarely paid for anything (besides her making more than I did), and didn't really like the person I was."

Ezmer, on the other hand, is a woman who was having trouble making relationships work until she realized she preferred playing the "masculine" role.

"It's a personality thing and trying to go by gender roles does not work," they said.

2. Balls are a huge hassle 

While the women's thread accrued complaints about periods, the men sounded off on balls. 

"Unsticking your balls from the side of your thigh on a hot day" and "the dangers of accidentally crushing them if you sit at a weird angle or shift around in your seat" are some of the struggles of being a cisgender man, according to bojiggidy.

Jenbanim chimed in, bringing up "the constant fear of testicular torsion. Or is that just me?" (Based on the replies, it's not.)

On the bright side, jake1er ​mentioned "the satisfaction of a good pinch and roll," which is apparently an intricate ball-scratching technique. It's by necessity indirect because, according to dirtymoney, "you can't scratch because your balls are too sensitive and it is difficult to scratch loose skin that moves around." Fun stuff. 

3. Getting compliments is weird

"For most of us, we can live our entire adult lives without receiving a single compliment from anybody," said iilikecereal.

"As a man, I never had a compliment from a woman before," said Fowl_Eye.

"Being complimented, for any reason, is weird," ViciousKnids elaborated. "Men don't get compliments as frequently as women do. And when we actually are complimented, we believe there might be malice or sarcasm within a compliment where none exist—simply because of the infrequency of it."

But getting over the weirdness may pay off. 

"Three months ago, a girl I sort of know said she liked my new hair cut. I still smile when I think about it," said Mogbog997.

Based on the women's thread, women may not compliment men because they don't want to appear like they're flirting. See how the puzzle pieces come together when we put ourselves in each other's shoes?

Gender may be something we're socialized into, but this socialization has far-reaching consequences, and the more we understand these effects, the more we can understand other people's needs. 

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