13 small changes that will bring good vibes into your life

Avoiding bad feelings is easier than you think.

Mar 25, 2016
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Complex Original

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

You don't have to completely overhaul your thinking to shift from a negative state of mind to a positive one. It can simply mean taking tiny steps forward. Sometimes, your entire perspective can change just by adjusting one habit, or by doing one thing differently than before.

Here are 13 suggestions for small shifts that will keep the bad vibes at bay. Because, #goodvibesonly.

1. Be wary of 'hive mind'

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Everyone’s waiting for the weekend, but that doesn’t mean you have to.

Be vigilant about the little things you tell yourself on a daily basis. Just “getting through the week”? Congrats, it’s only Monday, and you've already set yourself up for a difficult five days. Be careful of the way you think because these thoughts turn into actions, and these actions reinforce your least favorite beliefs about yourself and the world. Shift away from everyone else's expectations, and find your own way.

2. Stop complaining for a day (or even an hour)

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Complaints are the easiest way to turn a good vibe bad; they serve no purpose other than to keep you frustrated. It may feel cathartic to complain and snark about other people’s lives, but ultimately, you're the only person who gets hurt. It makes you weary of others. It makes you resentful. It trains your mind to only see the bad, and to give yourself fodder for more complaints. Be aware of how much you complain for at least an hour each day, and make adjustments accordingly.

3. Mute, hide, and generally do a spring cleaning of your social media

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Not everyone gets to infiltrate your space. If someone isn’t bringing you any sort of joy, entertainment, inspiration, or peace, mute them. Hide their posts. Get them out of your space. You don’t have to burn bridges and unfollow them completely, but don’t subject yourself to a constant barrage of things that make your blood boil. You want good vibes? Then tune out the bad first.

4. Only use your voice for things you can actually change

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Being outraged over things you can’t change isn't helpful. It may feel good in the moment, but looking to be angry all the time means you’re needlessly seeking negativity. When you feel yourself becoming frustrated with something, think about an actual solution and how you can use your voice to make progress. Empower yourself to think beyond that initial outrage.

5. Listen to music that matches the mood you want, not the mood you have

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Seriously, try it. Listening to uplifting music is an excellent alternative to wallowing. Put on something that will snap you out of your bad mood. Feelings are temporary if you let them be.

6. Figure out what brings you joy, and commit to doing that daily

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Maybe it’s five minutes to just sit, chill, and listen to yourself breathe. Maybe it’s scribbling in a journal before anyone else wakes up. Think about the tiny thing that, if you devoted yourself to it every day, would make a huge impact. Then, do it. Right now.

7. Enjoy a hobby that brings no financial gain, and do it because you love it

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Do something for the sake of experience only. Do something you know you’re not very good at. Have fun. Play a little. Make weird stuff.

8. When you feel envy, compliment your target instead

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Here's the best way to deal with envy: The next time you come across someone's accomplishments on social media, and feel the green-eyed monster coming on, send this person a crazy-nice email. Be genuine. Tell them that instead of being jealous, you’ve decided to admire them. Tell them that they’ve had a profound effect on you. Jealousy, then, becomes inspiration.

9. Have a conversation with a friend that focuses entirely on them

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Don’t even say one thing about yourself. Don’t wait for your next turn to speak. Just keep asking questions. Sometimes it feels good to get beyond “me, me, me,” and give your full attention to someone else.

10. Be vigilant about every time you use the word 'should'

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It’s the most accurate marker of shame: “Should” in any sentence is a red flag. Anytime you start shoulding all over yourself or someone else, take a pause, and try to determine what views you’re trying to impose on yourself or others.

11. Pay attention to your emotions rather than suppressing them

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Your emotions offer a ton of insight. Instead of fighting them—or worse, loathing them—learn to understand what they’re trying to tell you. Here’s a good guide to get you started: 

12. Whenever you want something from others, give first

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Want more of your friends to invite you out? Invite them first; organize a happy hour with a group of your faves. Want your partner to take you on a date? Suggest a date first. Give what you want.

13. Heed at least one of your wild ideas a week

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And actually act on it. Stop saying “I can’t.” Stop coming up with what you believe are reasonable explanations for why you can’t have the life you crave. Just start building, brick by tiny brick. The time is going to pass anyway. Five minutes per day of building towards something you want is five minutes more than the previous day. Build your own momentum. Earn your own respect. Honor commitments to yourself first.

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