What's in a name? According to one particularly food-minded individual in the UK, a name could easily be packed with as much as 1,000 calories. At least one person legally changed his name to Bacon Double Cheeseburger in 2015, as noted in a Mashable-quoted report from The Times. In fact, 2015 was a record-smashing year for legal name changes in the United Kingdom, with 85,000 people reportedly making the transition during the year of Mr. Cheeseburger.
"Some people simply don’t like their original name," Louise Bowers of the UK Deed Poll Service, the organization responsible for handling all such name changes, tells The Times. "We’ve changed Cock to Cox and Smellie to Smiley." In addition to the glorious arrival of the newly confident Mr. Cheeseburger, 2015's UK name remixes included the debut of equally delightful displays of whimsy including Bruce Wayne, Happy Birthday, and Simply MyLove Poet.
When asked why exactly he settled on the name Bacon Double Cheeseburger, the newly minted Mr. Cheeseburger says he simply landed on the "first name I came up with" because that is true bravery. Sadly, though such a move would dramatically increase the artfulness of suddenly being named Mr. Cheeseburger, the Person Formerly Known as Simon Smith made no mention to reporters of being a vegan or even a vegetarian.
Thus, this guy's future enjoyment of any bacon double cheeseburgers presents a unique existential quandary.
Godspeed, Mr. Cheeseburger. Godspeed indeed.