3 ways to tell if you’re the 'crazy' one in the relationship

For some, relationships can bring out our worst traits: obsessiveness, paranoia, manipulation, and more. 

It's difficult to know if you're acting crazy, and it can be even harder to tell if your relationship is driving you nuts. But what if it's just you? 

That slippery slope might be why a Redditor recently asked: Former crazy SOs, when did you realize you were the crazy boyfriend/girlfriend?

Answers totally varied: For many, erratic and unpredictable behavior came from insecurities they had before the relationship, and for others, it was a result of trust issues. 

If you do any of the following, you might just be that cray partner: 

You might not be the ideal candidate for a relationship if it doesn't take much to set you off.

Several Redditors highlighted irrationally big reactions to little things. The most common experience was freaking out over a partner not responding to texts. 

Redditor MidEastBeast777 wrote, "When I flipped out on my GF for not responding to an insignificant text I sent, then called her a liar over the excuse she gave. That's when I realized I was a crazy controlling BF. She dumped me over that and probably a laundry list of other things. It was a really good lesson learned though and I admit I was totally in the wrong."

And Becool1267 had the same experience: "I always freak out in my head if my SO doesn't respond to my texts when I know they're not working. But I don't visibly freak out because I know how crazy it is. Does that make me less crazy or am I just good at hiding it?"

In response, Eeeicram pointed out that such behavior is never a good sign: "I do the same thing.... 😳 I think we're the craziest kind. Instead of torturing them with our insecurities, we torture ourselves. How often do you check your phone when this happens? It's a compulsion for me. Goddamn it."

Ask yourself if your reaction matches your circumstance, and if it seems overblown, take a few steps back.

Most of the time, being cray is due to insecurity.

The crappy thing about insecurities is that they're a slippery slope into unhealthy thought cycles, like when you feel jealous even though there's nothing to worry about. 

For Hvillealaayat, insecurity led to imagining hurtful scenarios, and they got so hung up on these negative thoughts that they even risked their job:

"When I saw another girl (a mutual friend) post on FB she was vacationing in the same town he was currently living in. I Spam texted and called both of them 'just to talk' all night, but I really just wanted to make sure they weren't together. I got off work at 3am, and drove the 5 hours to have a 'surprise!' visit. Stayed for 2 days, then made him give up work shifts to come back to our hometown for 2 more days. All so they wouldn't have the chance to run into each other. We both almost lost our jobs, because I was insanely insecure—but mostly just super possessive. In complete honesty, I had been seriously wanting to break it off with him for several weeks."

If you're interrupting your own life for problems that only exist in your imagination, you might want to reconsider your priorities. Is this relationship having more negative or positive effects?

If you find yourself doing things that your partner would consider creepy, you might need to rethink your approach.

Redditor WilsonsDiseaseAnPony wrote:

"When I realized that I had more pictures of him sleeping than awake. He doesn't like it when I take pictures of him, so I took them when he couldn't say no. To hopefully make it slightly less crazy, it's not like I'd break into his house at night to take them, they were taken when he'd fall asleep at my house, or when he took a nap/was sleeping at his.

We've been together for 8 years and all the sleeping photos have been deleted. We're still together too!"

Apparently, creeper pics are more common than you'd think. Redditor Markerbright1596 said, "My ex confessed to me after breaking up, that he used to take pictures when I was asleep. I kinda found it creepy. I think he still has them." 

But none can top Redditor Trashlikeyourmom's experience: "I've woken up to 3 different dudes masturbating while watching me sleep (individually on separate occasions, not I woke up in the middle of a circle jerk). Some people are just cute sleepers, I guess."

If you're in a relationship where insecurities are dictating your behavior, you might be the unpredictable boo. The best thing to do in moments of craziness is to be honest with yourself and your partner. Talk through your problems, and let them know what you're feeling.

The only way to move past cray is by dealing with cray. And taking pictures of your sleeping partner is definitely not dealing.