Fight the man: 5 ways women can overcome sexism at work

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Stetler recalled showing up to her first dealer meeting, only to be received by male corporate “fat cats with cigars.” 

“When I started in this business, I didn’t know it was a male-dominated industry,” she explained. ​"When I showed up in stilettos, a miniskirt, and a ponytail, they took one look at me and told me to ‘go home and bake cookies.’”

Granted, this was 20 years ago, but Stetler said this still happens “today, every day.”

Her advice for women is to be prepared to “work twice as hard to earn half as much,” and that’s not just in dollars—it’s also in respect. She still gets male customers who, after she writes them a service estimate, will ask to speak to a manager based on the assumption that said manager is a man. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, a guy will ask me if I own the place with my husband or where my husband is, and I think to myself: Alright, I’m raising the price today.”

Given the blatant sexism Stetler faces, can you blame her?

Stetler is very firm about the fact that she “doesn’t play the woman card,” but she’s realistic about the sexual politics of the workplace and hiring process. 

To clarify, “it’s not about using your loins,” as Stetler so eloquently put it. “I flirt, but that’s part of my personality. Don’t take my flirting personally."

If a little banter will help you get your next promotion—so long as it doesn’t feel like you need to flirt (or do more than that)—what’s the harm? Stetler still wears her stilettos and miniskirts, but as she explained, “I dress to impress myself.”

In a nutshell: Act and wear what feels natural to you, not what you feel is expected of you.

When you experience sexism at work, it can be tempting (and totally understandable) to operate from the perspective of a victim, but according to Stetler, it doesn’t do you any favors. “If you wake up in the morning, and you start your day off with, ‘Why me?’ you’re going to spend your entire day trying to figure that out, instead of how to fix it,” she said.

It puts you in a passive position, preventing you from taking responsibility over your own success. So, while it’s absolutely okay to get angry and raise awareness about sexism, focus on how to overcome these biases instead of how terrible it is to endure them.

Stetler is no stranger to overcoming obstacles, both personal and professional.  Early in her career, she said, she was the victim of a vicious stabbing attack at the hands of a homeless man to whom she had offered lodging. But Stetler didn’t let getting stabbed 21 times take the wind out her sails. In 2008, when a male competitor tried to drive her out of business, she fought back, sued her competitor (the case goes to trial this year), rebuilt her business, and launched Planet RV in 2015.

“Everyone couldn’t believe I didn’t jump off a bridge," she said. 

“The only way to break down barriers [in male-dominated industries] is not to take anything personally. It’s all business,” Stetler said.

And even if sexism is part of said “business,” remember that is has nothing to do with you and what you have to offer, she added: “If you can try to take your emotions out of it, nothing will bother you."

While easier said than done, Stetler raises a valid point. Sexism, like any prejudice, is an ill-founded, blanket assumption based not on who you are, but on something arbitrary. Remember: You aren't the problem, here.

Stetler’s No. 1 piece of advice for women looking to get ahead? Love yourself.

“You have to be confident in yourself and love you,” she said, adding that just like in business, “if you’re not confident in the product you’re selling, how are you going to sell it?”