Having confidence truly goes a long way. In the work place, it can lead to recognition and promotions; in your personal life, confidence can lead to healthier relationships and higher self-esteem.
A 2012 pilot study at the University of Melbourne found that there was a correlation between those who displayed confidence levels as early as primary school and achieving success during adulthood. Meanwhile, a 2013 study conducted at the University of Texas found that students who display confidence while receiving criticism were more likely to perform better later on than their less-confident peers.
In a recent Quora thread, user Adam Muller described the benefits of being a confident person: "[They] spend less energy on needing to prove themselves, or being seen as significant, or secure, or needing to be heard, or shown attention, this frees up a massive amount of social energy and capital."
So what are the behaviors of confident people? What word do confident people say the most?
Absolutely.
One user hypothesized that successful people must say "absolutely" a lot. Jacky Dror wrote:
"This is indeed the word that all those confident, sometimes overly confident, slightly full of themselves persons are constantly uttering, with a cocky nod of the head to go with it. When you consider that it means totally, with no qualification, restriction or limitation, then it fits the bill completely."
As Dror pointed out, how people say yes is just as indicative of confidence. Another major key is body language.
Social psychologist Amy Cuddy explained in a TED Talk that body language is crucial because it directly affects how other people view us, and how we view ourselves:
No.
Several users believe the opposite: Confident people are probably more prone to saying the word "no."
User Brizzle Souny wrote:
"Some people would say 'Yes.' But then if you say yes to everyone and everything you overextend yourself and saying yes to everything is a sign a weakness that you are trying to please everyone and you don't value your own time or you don't know how to prioritize.
The busier, more important and charismatic you are, the more you will be asked for things or invited to things. The more people want to make use of your energy and resources. A truly confident person has no qualms about saying no to even potentially good opportunities and events because they know what boundaries they need to set to allow themselves their own time to shape their lives in the manner they see fit."
Another user, Kevin Fitzgerald, agreed. "It's also the most valuable word. Saying no to destructive things, time wasters, undesirable things, negative people, and unproductive non enjoyable things are going to benefit you. And they are all signs of confidence," he wrote.
It can't be that hard to start practicing the word "no," right?
They speak positively to themselves, first.
Psychotherapist and self-help author John Sannicandro took a different approach to answering the question. He believes that confident people learn to say "yes" to themselves first:
"Agree that they speak positively to themselves about themselves. If I had to pick one word that confident people say to themselves the most is probably the word 'Yes.' Saying yes to yourself more often, particularly when analyzing your efforts, is probably the single most important word.
And don't forget its cousins-yep, yeah, and okay. Notice when you are and are not using this word in your self talk. Start saying it more often."
Practicing self love isn't the only step to improving confidence, although it is the most crucial. There are several studies backing up ways to improve your self-esteem and self-worth, whether it's by getting more exercise, practicing power poses, smiling and making eye contact while you speak, or even wearing cologne and perfume.
If you really want to start exuding confidence, you might want to take professor Karen J. Pine's unique advice on wearing superhero clothing in public.
If that isn't confidence, we don't know what is.
