9 things only people who love to be alone understand

The hidden benefits of doing things solo dolo.

Oct 20, 2015
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Complex Original

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

When people say they hate to be alone, I look at them like they just said they hate puppies.

What? You hate the zen-like silence of just existing in your own company? You hate being able to hear the thoughts inside your head? You hate the weird and wonderful ideas you get when you’ve got time to kill, and only yourself to kill it with? I don’t know, man. Hating your own company sounds like a personal problem.

But people who relish alone time—those who light a candle and hold a vigil for the god of solitude— know what’s up. We understand there’s beauty in the moments between distractions, those stretches of silence that show you exactly who you are and what needs to be examined in your life.

Alone is the state during which our strangest, most "hell, this actually works" ideas surface. Alone is where the muse lives.

1. You understand the importance of chill.

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A little wine, some dope headphones, an even doper playlist, and a scented candle can provide optimal chill. Anxious about the week before? Need a little stress relief on a Sunday night? Having a night to yourself is rejuvenating AF. 

2. You know that traveling alone is pure pleasure.

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You’re at the whim of nobody but yourself, free to go wherever you want. You can sit and marvel for as long as you want. You can hole up in a café, and unload your thoughts on paper for hours. You can literally do anything you want. Is there anything better than that?

3. You know that when you’re alone, the muse comes.

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It’s nearly impossible to create the kind of work you want when you’re in a constant state of input, processing external stimuli everywhere you go. Relentlessly consuming other people’s creative work can stunt your own. In order to do work that isn't derivative, then, you must spend your idle time actually idling. 

4. You know that boredom doesn’t really exist.

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Boredom is something your mind makes up when it wishes it were somewhere else. If you can make the most of whatever situation you’re in, boredom is always kept at bay. Being alone may seem boring to some, but to you? It’s as necessary as breathing. It’s how you find who you are in a world that’s constantly trying to define you.

5. You know that if you can’t be alone, something is up.

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If you’re feeling restless and incapable of spending time alone, you know that that’s the moment you should be alone. Self-growth only happens when you face yourself, and being alone forces you to confront whatever's holding you back from the life you want. If you can’t be alone, you can’t grow. You can’t heal. You can’t evolve.

6. You understand the value of silence.

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Connecting with people is great—but never being able to think because you’re always mid-convo in person, via text, or online is really exhausting. Just like electronics, your brain needs to recharge. Silence restores you to 100%. It’s essential.

8. You know when you’re in love.

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If someone you’re dating makes you feel like you no longer need to run away to a remote cabin in the middle of nowhere to find peace, that’s about as beautiful as love can get. If you can completely be yourself with someone, then that’s your person. Seriously. Never let them go.

9. You know you need to make time for being alone.

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Sure, you can try to stack your schedule up to be “busy,” but you know busyness is a disease. You feel no need to stick to conventions, to appear to be anything other than yourself. While everyone else is running around losing their minds in this crazy world, you’re chilling at home listening to a killer Spotify playlist, and contemplating life’s big questions.

You’re growing and cultivating a better life for yourself. You know the importance of connecting with you—the real you underneath it all. You know the value in showing up to life with a present mind and an open heart, which can only happen when you’ve had time to reconnect with yourself. Alone is where the soul lives.

 

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