How Long Would The Characters Of Diablo III Last Working In The Real World?

The Witch Doctor

How the exotic and powerful Witch Doctor found himself employed as an accountant on Wall Street we may never know, but his impropriety in the position knows no bounds. The Doctor’s perverse and unsettling powers to summon vermin, pestilence, and death itself to his service are ill-suited to a life spent watching tickers and counting coins. Before, he harvested the souls of his enemies; now it’s his career that's sucking the soul out of him.

Out of practice in his nefarious arts, his dark powers manifest themselves beyond his control; his frightening menageries of beasts appears at his side at the most inopportune times, ruining important transactions and leaving trails of refuse and feces in the lobbies and halls of respected banks. And tigers and zombies make poor administrative assistants.

The Witch Doctor lacks the scruples to participate in the sinister business of financial trading—and that's saying something. On the other hand, his mastery over the arts of poison and plague are put to good use now and then when a competitor gains the upper hand or an association becomes unprofitable. No wonder he's so successful.

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