3. Custer's Revenge
Thirst Level: 9.95
Even to this day Custer's Revenge is a controversial game. This is mostly due to its portrayal of General George Armstrong Custer as an 1800's Ron Jeremy. Custer is nearly naked; he wears only a pair of boots, a bandana and a calvary hat. But it's not the attire you'll notice upon first glance.
Once the screen boots up you'll quickly realize that General Custer is sporting an abnormally large erection, that upon successfully dodging an arsenal of flying arrows, will be pleasured by a captive Native American woman. Regardless of which version you play, Custer's thirst is unjustifiable. He's obviously suffering from the most severe case of THIRST OVERLOAD. Come on, Custer: Think with the head above your waist. Not the one below it.