The Sorriest Excuses For Video Game Pre-Order Bonuses

1. Dead Island: Riptide

Pre-order Bonus: A severed female torso.

Finally you can stop hacking up those expensive Real Dolls to make your own fake bloody torsos. This piece would fit nicely next to anyone's Silence of the Lambs styled skin suit and bowl of lamb's blood you've been hanging on to.

The hacked-up, bleeding statue was morbidly complete with protruding ribs, bite marks, large breasts and an authentic stench of misogyny. Thankfully these pre-order monstrosities where only available in the UK and Australia but sadly not in South Africa where they could be used as jumping shark decoys.

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