4. Gordon Freeman
Video Game: Half Life
Last Seen: Massaging a victim's inner thighs while explaining what a parallelogram is.
Profiler's Note: Sure, he'll help you with your homework alright.
Just because the unassuming mute hero of one of video games' most loved franchises hasn't gotten a third installment doesn't mean he hasn't been keeping himself busy. After taking a job as a high school geometry teacher, Mr. Freeman has become the teacher that really goes the extra mile. Gordon really wants to help you pass your finals. He knows how hard it is in school. He'll stay after class and help you study for finals. And by 'study for finals', he means finger bang in the backseat of his Kia Sorrento. And don't worry, yes, that pudding ring of facial hair is coming too.