2. Max Payne
Max Payne 3
Old Max describes himself as both a “dumb move guy” and “a fat bald dude with a bad attitude” in Max Payne 3, some ten years after his last flirtation with tragedy. Misery abounds in Max’s world: the years of drinking and popping pills have not been good to his world-weary mug, and in between rounds of pumping slugs into paramilitary faces if he’s not drowning in the bottle he’s spouting a continuous string of bilious self-loathing, every line growled to perfection.