Mario's been in a lot of games over the years, and as any gamer can tell you, most game worlds are dangerous places. They're filled with fireballs, angry suns, quicksand, man-eating fish, vengeful turtle shells, meteor swarms, human sacrificeâ€”we're surprised the little plumber has lasted as long as he has.
Try not to cry out in anguish as you watch this epically tragic montage of the many ways Mario can meet his maker (does he wonder whether there's really a Miyamoto?). If we had known that Mario died every time he lost a race in Mario Kart we probably would have taken that series a lot more seriously all these years.
Can you think of any they missed? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter.