14. Bionic Commando (2009)

Final Level: The Vault
Why It Sucked: Basically, Spencer lost his real arm, and bionic arms are awesome, so he needed one of those. But in order for the bionic crap to meld with his body, it had to have some connection with him. So the sinister-for-no-reason Joe puts Spencer's wife into it. Then Spencer spends an entire game trying to find her. "I'M AT UR SIDE LULZ." Spencer headbutts through some glass and falls into a hole, and that's it.
How We Would End It: There are no words for how bad this is. To improve it, we'd probably throw in a couple jokes about how he really could've been with Emily all along. Get it? Masturbation.

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