The 25 Jobs Mario Hasn't Done Yet

Assassin

Shoehorning a sneak mechanic and a few brutal assassination animations into your typical Mario game shouldn't be too hard, and there are few things more popular right now than a hero who kills from the shadows by stabbing helpless foes in the back. Plus, Mario's jumping skills would come in handy as he raced across rooftops and bell towers in a stylized version of 14th century Mushroom Kingdom. And his Italian heritage makes this particular ripoff all the more appropriate.

The mustachioed murderer would have to make some changes to his guns-blazing fighting style, but one might argue that watching him muffle a shy guy's mouth with one hand while he draws a knife across its pasty white throat would be well worth it. Especially if we got to use Wii MotionPlus to accurately simulate what it's like to murder a cuddly cast of anthropomorphic critters. Yeah, Nintendo will love this one.

blog comments powered by Disqus