No, not this guy—though that's pretty much our mental picture of him.
We, like so many people out there, like to peruse the NeoGAF forums from time to time. But we don't often expect to find hilarious stories of child abuse on there like we did today! In between the threads on Dead Space 2 and Kinect sales figures, we spied the subject line "What's the worst fit of gaming rage you've ever had?" and instantly knew we had to investigate. Thankfully, the original poster didn't disappoint. And we quote:
Unfortunately, I can't remember what game it was. What I do remember is my brother (he's nine years younger than me) laughing hysterically every time that I screwed up and had to restart whatever task I was trying to accomplish in the game. His incessant laughing combined with the frustration of having to redo this thing for the umpteenth time caused me to snap. Without even batting an eye, I threw down my controller as he was in the middle of yet another fit of laughter and punched him full-force right in the gut. That's right. I, an 18-year-old man, socked a fucking nine-year-old right in the breadbasket. It knocked the wind out of him so badly that I thought I had killed him. It took him nearly a full minute to recover. Needless to say, I felt incredibly guilty.
We may have thrown a controller across a room, or hurled filthy invective at the television, but we can't say we ever did anything like this. And wouldn't you know it, most of the thread participants felt the exact same way. So let us say this: Dear ScOULaris, thank you for that story. It made us feel better about our own rage issues. Also, you may want to watch your back from now on; something tells us your little brother's gunning for you. (Seriously, though. If you've ever freaked out worse than this, please, PLEASE tell us in the comments.)