Pity the poor Meleagris gallopavo. Every year, it tears off each subsequent month of its calendar with an ever-tremblier talon, fearing the arrival of November and the murderous urges of American tradition. And even after we obese gourmands have sated ourselves on its flesh and rolled away to smear our greasy fingers on the still-locked glass doors of a big-box retailer and wail "GAWLEE AH WISH THESE LAMESTREAM LIBRUL SOCIALISTS WOULD OPEN THE DOORS CUZ AHMA GIT ME A SARAH PALIN BRAND FOOD PROCESSOR," the turkey knows the danger has never truly passes. Because Thanksgiving is only one day a year, but video games are played year-round. Yes, even when the nearest holiday is Memorial Day, gamers are retina-deep in titles that condone—nay, encourage—the blatant abuse, and in some cases murder, of turkeys and their genetic cousins the chickens. And we, for one, have had enough. We beseech you: view these offending games and take up arms against such atrocity! Or, y'know, whatever. We call white meat.

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