Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker drops this week, and you already know it's copped. If the franchise's past is anything to go by, then it's safe to assume Hideo Kojima will treating us to another round of intense sneaking and crotch-grabbing. See, the Metal Gear Solid series is like a hot girlfriend who occasionally has a flatulence problem...that only flares up when you bring her home to meet your parents. The always-convoluted Metal Gear narrative has a knack for inserting awkward moments at the most inopportune times—which is part of why we keep playing. No matter how intense the battlefield, MGS will always find a way to to makes you wonder: did that really happen on our TV screen? What was in that brownie? And how long will it be before the game series collapses under the weight of all the pauseworthy names and homoerotic tension?

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