Complex | Riff Raff Realm

RiFF RAFF REALM | Episode 2

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- When you stand up for America, instead

of worrying about like, bombing and shit

like that, why don't you worry about

making more bathrooms and stuff like that so people have more time to get ready.

As you can see here

we clearly have the new

grape fire. The suede was actually made

from a penguin's kneecap. This side was

used as a shield in Madagascar 7. The air

pocket is oxygen stored from Mars. So you

don't want to breathe this in because it's

very toxic unless you're from Mars. With

the gel at the bottom neutralizes that

with a cool calm base of neutral. Clear is

neutral. Okay folks, you want to keep

everything neutral right? Or no? - Yes. Mmm.

- My little pupster is in the building

today. How do you feel about being a

superstar. Awe Jody, you're just the

cutest. I just wanna jump through that

screen and grab you right now. I'm sure

everybody else does too. Everybody loves

Jody Husky. He's just Olympic. Olympic

dog.

I think you need another snack. I'm gonna

fly over there. I'll see you soon alright.

Sometimes I tear up. Just the thought of

Jody Husky makes a grown man cry. - You promised us English muffins. - Ah, you just soaked my face.

- Tired of never being able to reach those

cereal boxes on top of the refrigerator?

Are you sick of being taunted like a short

fat kid? Well, now it's your turn to be

treated like a tall fat kid. Introducing,

X-stendoos! Wanna dunk like an NBA

superstar? X-stendoos! Need to walk

through a pit of snakes without

jeopardizing those precious private parts.

X-stendoos! Feel like doing the limbo

every time you walk through a doorway?

X-stendoos! Supplies are limited, so apply

now! Side effects include nausea,

vomiting, rectal bleeding and asthma. For

those not used to breathing in high

climates, please consult a physician if

you experience belly button discharge,

heavy discomfort or your erection lasts longer than five hours. - Mutumbo came out with them.

- Then you put them on your

legs and extend them up?

- They're from knee to foot. Put the foot

inside the knee and extend it three feet.

Mutumbo came out with them. They make them

in different colors now. So you have black or white.

- And then you got X-stendoo guards that

look like it's really sweatpants, but it's an extra three feet of sweatpants. - X-stendoos cost, what? - Three pants for $39.99. - X-stendoo pants are like 4700 dollars. - X-stendoos are like 4700. - X-stendoo...

- That's like 3 payments of 4700. That's

like 15 grand. 3 payments of 4700. That's like 15 grand.

- Yeah. Yeah. So if you got X-stendoo

guards you pretty much are in the game. Mutumbo! - Hey, hey! Show's over.


In Complex TV's second episode of "RiFF RAFF Realm" our esteemed host keeps it funky and fresh for the holiday season.

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