Complex | C List

5 Malt Liquor Cocktails | C-List

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- I'm Dariany Santana and your're watching

the C list. Mixology is all the rage.

People make beer cocktails. They rim

glasses and use things like expensive

styles and champagnes. But we're complex

TV, so enough with your bugi-bullshit.

Here are five cocktails we made using

forty ounces of malt liquor. And

ingredients you can buy at the bodega.

Number five, the brass monkey. If you

haven't guessed it already. You're no fan

of Malt liquor and you're definitely not a

fan of the Beastie Boys. It's one part

Orange juice and two parts Malt Liquor. If

it was good enough for MCA, it's good

enough for me. Number four, the Go fuck

yourself shandy. Now you know how those

fancy mixologists like to mix beer with

ginger ale and call it a shandy like their

chilling in fucking cape cod. Well, this

one is one part ginger ale and one part

Malt Liquor. Go fuck yourself. Number

three, the broken cherry limeade, this one

is one part cherry limeade and two parts

malt liquor. The beautiful part of this

cocktail is that the malt liquor makes the

cherry limeade actually not taste like

shit. Number two the Monkey Shines. This

one is half orange juice, half part ginger

ale and two parts malt liquor. There's

literally no thought to this. Orange juice

goes so well with a forty and so does

ginger ale. Combine all three and you're

doing good work. And number one, The

Irregular Heartbeat. This one is one part

Red Bull and two parts malt liquor. Do

yourself a favor and drink this one in

screaming distance of a hospital. Or at

least around a defibrillator. So there you

have it. The five malt liquor cocktails.

Next time that you're low on cash. Low on

time. But you're still trying to get

fucked up. Give them a try. But don't try

all of them in one sitting. Matter of

fact. Fuck it. Do it. I'm Dariany Santana

for Complex TV, pour it up.


Watch the lovely Dariany Santana show you how to turn a cheap 40 oz. into a surprisingly delicious libation.

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