Are we still wearing leggings under shorts? I can’t fucking tell with you guys anymore. I’m just gonna assume we are still wearing leggings under shorts. Especially because I just wore leggings under shorts because I had to run across the street to the grocery store to buy some dog food for my girlfriend’s condescending dog and for some reason it felt quicker and easier to put leggings on and then shorts than just putting on a regular pair of pants. Whatever, I finally fit in with all the cool athletic people that have recently moved into my neighborhood. They’re always in leggings and workout gear while they peruse the craft beer section of the grocery store. I tried to give an athletic couple an athletic head nod, but I think they ignored me because I also bought a box of donuts and a one liter bottle of pop that are really just huge 20 ounces. I justified it because I walked across the street. Don’t judge me. I know you’ve always wanted to buy a liter of soda and carry it around like a tiny bottle of Fiji water.
